Step 1: Shopping
What person does not LOVE a brand new pair of shoes and with a matching handbag… you will have the children gagging. If someone you are newly single – like fresh tilapia; GO SHOPPING! It very therapeutic and your mind focuses on how good you will look in those new jeans rather than how bad you felt when a guy texts, “this is not working”. Besides, he will be sending you a few snaps and DM’s as soon as he sees you in that new top. You will be serving the childrent lewqqks for dinner.
Step 2: Put Yourself Back Out There
I know you have heard this a thousands times before: “there are so many fish in the sea!” Think about it! There are 7 billion people in the world, and we live in a generation where – literally – the entire world is at our fingertips, however, dating has become very stigmatized, but, also has become easier. You can now swipe right or left if you do not like someone, or, someone can “slide into” your direct messages on apps like Twitter and Instagram; or, because this is 2016, you can slide into theirs. Do not let your surroundings, or a recent break-ups hinder you from growing up and moving on. Just look in the mirror remind yourself how SICKENING YOU LQQK!
Step 3: Make The First Move
Now making the first move can mean a number of things. The first one to get popcorn; the first to get-up in the morning; or, the to have a rebound – but, in this case, I am talking about bouncing back. Be the first to make the first move in the step to being happy. Of course this will not happen over night and – as your advisor – I give you time to have a very BRIEF emotional distress period but, after that you need to STOP, THINK, PLAN, AND, MOVE ON. Chances are, he has already moved on. Take time to plan out events that help you discover what makes you happy without them. Go see a movie by yourself, or, get dinner – at a swank restaurant – and eat alone. Soon enough all the people looking at you, all those insecurities when being alone will become background noise and you will have discovered a new independence. Just make the first move in moving on and being happy. Also, once he sees you happy, he will get jealous. YASSS GUR BE HAPPPYYYY!
Step 4: Throw A EFFING RAGER BRO!
Just kidding, but, yes, throw a party. Parties are a great way to interact and meet new people and make new friends. The planning of the party will distract your mind a ton and it gives you the opportunity to invite cute boys and their cute boy friends. If you do not have an apartment or a way to throw a party then just plan to go out that week/weekend. Every night. Let the reward for getting yourself out of bed and getting some work done be a nice cocktail, or, some nice fresh boy; it helps build confidence. The sheer mania you will feel when trying to pick out an outfit every night to go out is 100% guaranteed to keep your mind busy plus, all the new clothes you will have will make it even think about him. New math equation: (boys) + (clothes) + (safe fun)/ (your ex) = (A GREAT TIME)
Disclaimer: Although, I do feel like you should have boys in your life for fun, DO NOT become reliant on them. Jumping from rebound to rebound because you are then hoping to feel a void they, essentially, can not feel resulting in you not working on becoming better and being happier – rather, you are working on becoming complacent and not developing any sort of growth. Just trying to give you some truth tea.
Step 5: Do You HUN-TEA!!!
Breaking up is hard. It is a f*cking mess. It causes you to question over and over your worth; what you did wrong; what you can do to settle. Sometimes distance is needed to mend a relationship, and, for some, they just happen to be in a shitty relationship. Just know you are worth it. You are not ugly; you are not crazy; you are not anything but who you are, and who you are is beautiful. Whether you are dumping him, or his stupid a** is dumping you, just know it will hurt for a while but, you will survive. Tina Knowles once said, “It is called going through it for a reason. You are not going to get stuck there. […] You are going to survive.” Just remember you can be happy with, but, it is okay to be happier without them. Know people will come along to fill that void; never settle because you are worth what you want and just know that one day it will come along and if it does not, then that is why we have dildos and porn – invest well.