Have you ever fancied a ‘quickie’? That’s the question posed by my speed-dating ticket, and until I actually arrived at the event, the only answer in my mind was, ‘Not really!” Many people have seen speed-dating in Rom-Coms, in which a desperate-looking person finds no better way of searching for true love. It’s usually funny to watch, but, when it comes to real life, do you honestly feel like being a despairing character from some comedy?
My friend is a member of RAG, and that’s what really persuaded me to take part in speed dating (other than the fact that I am single). After all, the entry fee money went to charity, so even if you haven’t exactly met the love of your life, you have done something that counts – you gave the money to those who really need it. This year speed dating has raised £283, and that amount could easily be increased if people put aside their judgements! Simply give it a try.
Massey’s Booksellers Bar was a perfect place for the event – I felt cosy and comfortable right after we entered. Balloons everywhere, lovely music and lots of people looking quite puzzled and wondering why they had come! When my friend started to beg me to leave the place as soon as possible or hide somewhere in the corner and pretend we came here by mistake, I was glad to find I was not alone in my thoughts! I was even more relieved to see that most of the speed-daters looked as awkward as I felt. So I already had something in common with these strangers. Nice start.
Later on I found a lot more similarities. A lot of guys came to support their friends or just to have fun. No one took it seriously, which made me feel relaxed and free to ask all the random questions that crossed my mind. My question of the evening surprisingly enough was ‘Tell me the most random thing about you.’ One of the guys I asked revealed that he has a 4-year old daughter, and that wasn’t even the most shocking out of all the revelations I received that evening! So it was full of surprises, but most importantly – of interesting and extraordinary people. Only three minutes to go and so much to discuss –you are trying to see your partner’s personality, find something in common and maybe even be pleasantly surprised! I found it funny how a few guys from London decided to create their own ‘signature’ – by kissing each girl on the cheek. It was also cute to see how some of the guys were particularly shy, or were clearly trying their very best to impress.
In real life, you often only get a chance to know people at parties or clubs. Or there’s the ‘friends of friends’ thing which is getting a bit overrated when you realise that you know almost all of them already. The opportunity that the Union gave us was totally different from what I was used to and from the way in which I genuinely meet people. More than thirty guys for one evening can seem like a roller-coaster – the head is slightly spinning and emotions overload you, but you are too enthusiastic and busy to notice.
As my friend put it: ‘You are forced to talk, but even forced three minute conversations can become quite intriguing and remarkable.’ Some of the forced talks made me realise that I wanted to find out more about some people; in others cases I wasn’t that excited. Only two options were available on the sheet of paper lying in front of me – date or ditch.
One of the guys I talked to said he used to break the rules and put ‘maybe’ for some of the people. It’s incredibly hard to ‘ditch’ nice people just because you don’t really see them as potential boyfriends. But then the opportunity just to hang out seemed to be fun, so again, moving away from the idea of ‘speed-dating’ – I created my own philosophy: just choose who you like, as simple as that. At first I tried to play some kind of role, but then, after about ten fake conversations in a row, at a very busy bar where so many people were talking at the same time, I realised that my voice was just too tired to pretend. Then I became myself, and everything turned out to be much more smooth and chilled. I was just talking about anything really, rather than relying on the set of questions.
Coming back to the movie idea, I actually did end up associating myself with someone from a movie – I felt like the ‘Yes-Man’ character, who is positive towards everything, meaning that life opens up a lot more new and thrilling opportunities because he’s simply saying YES. Speed dating can be just one of many new things to do. Even though it might take some courage if you are shy, and jokes from friends are obviously an inevitable fact that you have to deal with –it is certainly an experience, and for me it was a memorableone.