The ‘third culture kid’ (TCK) term was introduced by American sociologist Ruth Useem in her research on children whose parents moved abroad for career purposes, including diplomats, missionaries and military servants. As a result, the child adopts a mixed identity formed by a combination of their parents’ culture and the culture that they were raised in. Over time, the term has been expanded to include children from transnational marriages or those who attend an international school in their home country.
As someone who considers themself a TCK, I’ve had my fair share of identity crises just like every other person on this planet. Being conflicted about where I feel like I truly belong has been a large part of that.
My dad is Malaysian and my mum is Singaporean. So, that doesn’t really make me an interesting mix… To put it frankly, Singapore was once a part of Malaysia so my “mix” barely even counts whereas my friends have parents from opposite ends of the world.
But that didn’t stop me from feeling lost at some points in my life.
To give you a little context, I was born in the Philippines, where I lived for two years. I then moved to Algeria for another two years before finally settling down in Malaysia – or so I thought.
I lived in Malaysia for 14 years, mainly because my parents wanted me to grow up in a stable environment despite my dad receiving offers to work abroad several times. After graduating from the Australian International School of Malaysia that I attended for 11 years, my family and I moved to Austria. Then, I started university in England.
For the past two years, I’ve been living in between these two countries. My time in Malaysia was significantly longer in comparison to the other countries I’ve lived in, so you may assume that I call Malaysia my home. Which for the most part, I do.
But it was always almost impossible to feel like a true local when I can count the amount of words I know, in my supposedly native language, on one hand.
My dad was a diplomat which involved a lot of travelling and moving countries. So, my parents felt that it was important for me to be fluent in English, which became my first and only language. They also wanted me to attend an international school so that I wouldn’t experience a culture shock abroad.
Attending an international school for most of my life was another factor affecting my sense of belonging. While I had the privilege of learning about and being exposed to a wide variety of cultures through my foreign friends and teachers as well as events at school that celebrated our diverse backgrounds, it also meant that I didn’t experience growing up like most locals in Malaysia.
In Malaysia, I was too westernised to fit in with the locals, and since moving to Europe, I’m too Asian to fit in with the locals here. Thus, I’ve somewhat always been stuck in limbo in terms of my belonging.
Along with belonging, goodbyes never get easier no matter how often you say it. Being a TCK means that sometimes, the closest people to you are the ones you hardly see because you and your best friends eventually move abroad or return to your respective countries.
While being a TCK can be difficult, there are so many benefits to it. Some that were listed by researchers Pollock and Van Recken include an expanded world-view, resilience, adaptability, independence, multilingualism, early maturity and many more.
The experience is an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows but in every aspect of it, there’s always a silver lining and I feel truly privileged and appreciative of this opportunity that not every individual gets.
I’ve also come to the realisation that home is where the heart is and my heart belongs to people and places all over the world.
Words By: Ellis Idris
Edited By: Dasha Pitts-Yushchenko