Ah, celebrities – those outstanding beings of great repute, to be worshipped and adored, the shiny role models we all aspire to be like…or perhaps not. Here are some examples they have set that we shouldn’t follow.
The perils of dating a younger ‘dude’
Demi Moore, a role model for us in so many respects. She married everyone’s guilty crush, muscle bound, ‘die-hard’ action hero Bruce Willis (what…just me?). Then in GI Jane she showed us all you can shave your head and still be a smokin’ hot mess (Britney –take note). She’s the same age as our mums yet has a body WE envy and until recently had bagged the most delightful arm candy in the form of toy-boy Ashton Kutcher. Girl crush. But sadly, Demi’s fling with a younger man turned out to be a classic famous faux pas and ended with him frolicking in a hot tub with a girl half her age and leaving Demi well and truly punk’d.
The lesson for us? Obviously an age gap of 15 years like Demi and Ashton’s isn’t really what we’re dealing with; what I’m referring to is a caution about dating younger boys. At school there always seemed to be a huge divide between year groups, and age was a much bigger deal, but at Uni the boundaries become blurred. Age is much less of an issue and soon enough 18-22 merges into that ambiguous age of ‘student’. However, when it comes to a serious relationship, there may be more of an age divide then you think. Picture the scenario; you’re 21, in your final year, and you bag yourself a piece of young and naive fresher meat! Everything’s great at first but soon they’re out every night whilst your slave over your dissertation. They’ve just been flung head first into the hormone driven dating sweet shop that is your first year of Uni, and you’ve quite frankly been there and done
them that. They’re struggling to get to grips with living without their mums, and turn to YOU for help! I’m not saying they’re going to go gallivanting around in hot tubs à la Ashton …but unless you’re game for doing the Bodington bus walk of shame in his 2011 leavers hoody, I’d seriously think twice before dating a fresher.
Lights, Camera, INTOXICATION!
David Hasselhoff in the 90s, tanned toned and running down a beach –topless – hurrah! David Hasselhoff at 59, lying on a hotel room floor, slurring his words and covered in fast food- topless– not so appealing. The man who once took to the wheel of a talking car to conquer evil and save the world …now tragically defeated, by a cheeseburger. Now clearly our drunken student antics are not to be compared to David’s obvious problem, he has clearly has been drinking far too much, far too Hofften (sorry). However we have probably all experienced that sinking morning after feeling when our not-so- finest moments are brought back to haunt us. So what to do to avoid those embarrassing alcohol induced photos where we look borderline psychotic with our eyelashes hanging off? Or the videos from the end of the night which capture us struggling in our stilettos, looking like Bambi learning to walk for the first time (if Bambi had just had a round of Jaeger bombs)?
Well I suppose the most obvious option would be to stay fresh and sober and picture perfect at all times… but just in case we should ever find ourselves having had a few too many Smirnoff Ices, here’s what to do. Avoid the snap happy friend with no Facebook filtering system who somehow manages to wake up the next morning, upload and tag your most hideous moments before you’ve even had chance to finish you’re leftover kebab. She must be abated at all costs. Alternatively, make sure everyone else around you is also suitably intoxicated and simply not able to master any kind of phone/camera technology. And whatever you do, no matter how good you think you look, no matter how many amazing Beyoncé inspired moves you’re pulling out on the dance floor…Tequila cam is your enemy. Doing body shots off you friend laid on the bar whilst you simultaneously cover yourself in whipped cream…is something you NEVER need to be reminded of.
Don’t date a doppelgänger.
You would think that after his break up to living blow-up doll Jordan, Alex Reid would declare he was done with fakery and pledge to seek out a new natural beauty, who may not have her own clothing collection for horses, but might have a little more going on upstairs! Alas no; after his break up Alex Reid found comfort and solace in the
arms bosoms of Katie Price’s cut-price version, Chantelle. Break ups are always hard, especially if you find yourself on the receiving end like Mr. Reid. You may miss them and think you need someone exactly like them, but exes are not like a dearly beloved pair of earrings (or breasts) that can just be replaced by an identical pair. You may say “that’s just my type- I only go for 5’11 blonde-haired, green-eyed boys…called Paul,” but everyone else can smell the faint whiff of a bunny boiling. So following a break up, be wary of rebounding with someone just because they remind you of your ex. Going out with a doppelgänger is not a second attempt to correct things that went wrong in the first relationship, and may just be a constant reminder of someone who hurt you. Seeing someone purely because they remind you of your ex is wrong for you both and does nothing for your self esteem. Put the past behind with a clean break and a fresh start with someone completely new. There are plenty of options out there and it’s your chance to explore which one is right for you!
Who wore it better?
The classic celebrity faux pas which manages to lower Armani couture to the ranks of a Primark bargain. The shame, the embarrassment, the inevitable ‘who looks better’ comparison. Although, unlike celebs, we don’t have to deal with the backlash of tabloid comments, we do occasionally find ourselves in similar outfit dilemmas. When times are hard and you’re living with a house of girls, conveniently with the same size and taste, it does make sense to save money and invest in a communal wardrobe, but be aware that there are rules to be adhered to in order to prevent a copy-cat crisis. Try not to copy complete outfits; mix a borrowed item with a different shoe/hair style/ accessory. Also maybe wear it when mixing with a with a different crowd and try to leave a little bit of time between each outing of said garment, letting people forget how great she looked in it and marvel instead at its new transformation on YOU! Anything that’s too distinctive, expensive or special to the owner perhaps let be. There is nothing worse than realised you’re the last in a long line of housemates to trial the new dress. It only ends in exasperation for the owner, and you looking like you don’t have your own sense of style.