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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Leeds chapter.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and I am not trying to teach or tell anyone what to do. I respect all experiences and opinions people may have regarding dating apps.  

 

Why did I start using dating apps?

I think the right answer to this questionis to boost my self-confidence. You might now be thinking, well how can you boost your confidence when these boys on dating apps are mostly rude, they leave you on read and ghost you after one date. Correct. I experienced all of that. I still have a screenshot from a chat with a guy who just outright said I was ugly:

 

Screenshot of text conversation
Photo by Madina Latipova
My immediate reaction was obviously to take a screenshot and send it straight to my friend. It was so unexpected to receive that kind of message. I thought I was being witty and cool. Apparently, I was punching. But why focus on him when there are other guys who do actually want to talk to you, or at least hook up and forget.

This was mostly my experience on Tinder. Even though it was quite upsetting and sometimes toxic, it did help me with my communication skills and confidence. For example, my friends voted for me as the “most likely to pull” in a survey they created for our friendship group.

 

What dating app I used first:

Like many other newbies I started my dating app adventures with Tinder. My relationship with this app wasn’t the best as I mentioned above. Besides, I was banned from Tinder for eternity… I even appealed! But unfortunately, I never managed to get my boys and account back. This then opened my eyes to Bumble. So far, it’s my favourite dating app.

Bumble feels like a space for people who were banned from Tinder: boys are nicer and quicker to reply. They might even ask you out again. I actually managed to find people who became my “regulars”. Am I the only one this happens to? 

 

How would I rate Tinder out of 10:

I’d give it a strong 6.

•Tinder guys are rude (again, in my opinion)

•I got banned for an unknown reason.

•I only met two guys from Tinder. And one of them… oh god he did something unbelievable. I’ll just leave you with the unfortunate nickname I gave him: “salmon fingers”

•I just prefer the style of Bumble more

 

To conclude, dating apps are fun and they helped me to stop placing boys on a pedestal… which is the result of being brought up in Uzbekistan and its patriarchal culture. From dating apps, I realised that I am actually wanted, and I don’t have to be quiet and obedient to be liked by men. I wish this patriarchy didn’t exist in my country. 

 

Words By: Madina Latipova

Edited By: Dasha Pitts-Yushchenko 

 

Communication and Media student from Uzbekistan.