Freshers’ week is full of new experiences. The chances are, it’ll be the first time you’ve ever lived with complete strangers, the first time you’ve had ‘DOWN IT FRESHER’ yelled in your face whenever you pick up a drink, and the first time you consider seeing people crawling down the street in onesies tied together by their ankles as ‘the norm.’ It may also be the first time that you encounter some very unique male characters. With that in mind, Her Campus has put together a handy guide, explaining who you’ll meet, how you’ll meet them and whether or not they should ever be considered for boyfriend material. Should you pick…
or pie?
The BNOC
Usually found having bestowed this title upon themselves, the BNOC, or Big Name On Campus, is the Fresher who, despite having only been at uni for a week, seems to have befriended half of the student population.
Not only is he found at every party (though it’s usually very unclear who has actually invited him) he also seems to get a mention on every Freshers’ Facebook group, with a description of how ‘effing mental’ he was last night. #Lad. While some may find the prospect of companionship with such *ahem* campus royalty appealing, the Her Campus advice is definitely to keep away. Anyone so desperately in need of attention is certainly not boyfriend material. Sorry BNOC, it’s a big fat custard pie from us.
The ‘sorry I have a girlfriend’ Guy
It’s your fourth consecutive night out, you’ve learnt countless names and been through the ‘who I am and what I’m studying’ speech a thousand times. In general, everyone you’ve met has been more than willing to make conversation, especially when the drinks are flowing. And then you encounter him, stood in a corner, phone in hand, typing out what must be a novel rather than just a text message. Wondering if he’s shy, lonely, or in need of some company, you wander over and introduce yourself with one of the classic Fresher lines: “so is this your flat or do you just know the host?” However, much to your confusion, you are met with a response that neither answers your question nor forms the basis of a friendship: “Sorry, I have a girlfriend.”
Confused, you’ll think about whether what you just said could have been misunderstood. Did asking if this was his flat imply that you were actually wondering where his bedroom was, so really propositioning him for a night of reckless passion? Probably not. So, this is just his response to all female contact then? It seems so. Judging by the phone glued to his hand and general shiftiness around women, this guy is either seriously under the thumb, or has a worrying case of BO – Bae Obsession. Though definitely not a potential love interest, it’s good to be wary of this kind of guy for future reference; guys who need restraining orders are never attractive – PIE.
The Line-King
I love cheesy chat up lines. In my opinion there is nothing better; give me an extra strong cheddar cheesy line over being called ‘pretty’ any day. So, for no reason other than the comedy value, when ‘the guy with the lines’ approaches you during Freshers’, NEVER LET HIM GO! Date him? No way! But having such a source of entertainment in your friendship group is something you’ll never regret.
And since it’s Freshers’, these guys can get even more creative than usual. In fact, the subject-specific lines you may hear over the next few weeks will be priceless.
Maths: I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
Science: If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
French: Are you sure you’re not a tower? Because Eiffel for you.
Medicine: Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.
Law: I don’t know if I have standing, but I’d love to court you.
Economics: Baby, the way you support free markets stimulates growth in my private sector.
English Literature: I’m no Jane, but I’d Eyre on the side of saying I think you’re beautiful.
Though falling for any of the above lines isn’t necessarily the worst thing you could do, always remember that someone so well-versed in the art of chat-up may be getting a little too much practice to be classed as decent boyfriend material. However, having someone like this around, even just as a mate, will certainly brighten up any night out; put the pie back on the shelf.
There’s no real way to predict the characters you’ll meet in Freshers’, but we hope that we’ve given you a decent overview. Though no one on our list has achieved the ‘bf potential’ status, that’s pretty much the whole idea of Freshers’ anyway – they don’t call them Freshers’ Flings for nothing!
Like what you read? Can you see yourself writing something like this? Her Campus Leeds are currently recruiting writers, editors and digital assistants, with any level of experience, onto our team. If you think you may be interested, e-mail georgieandjulia@gmail.com for more information or come along to our welcome meeting on Monday 29th October, at 6pm, in room 1 of the Student Union.
Image sources
Nottingham.tab.co.uk
Wdmp.co.uk
Wiffdog.com
Shutterstock.com
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