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How to Maintain a Boyfriend

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Leeds chapter.

It’s a baffling question: how do you keep your guy from straying? Well, read on. Spending an evening on the sofa with your boyfriend’s friends, watching a football match or even cooking him dinner might be the best girlfriend behaviour, but is that enough? Guys have certain innate needs that must be fulfilled before they honestly and truly feel attached to a girl, no matter how many marathon Xbox sessions you grudgingly oblige to.

Being in a relationship is easy, maintaining the connection and love is the hard part. Everything looks rosy in the beginning, but what happens afterwards? All too often men begin to gain a wandering eye once the novelty of having a girlfriend begins to wear off.

All girls dream of the perfect relationship but not everyone has one. In this article, I am going to tell you what I have learned about keeping boyfriends from cheating:

·      Give him space
Most girls think they already give their boyfriends plenty of space, but in reality this might not be the case. It is normal to be possessive, but make sure you do not over do it. It is also important to be realistic and open with your boyfriend about what you expect from his behaviour. Many girls would claim they have no issues with their boyfriends going to a strip club, but then pick a fight if they do, leading their other halves to hide things in future. You need to be honest with yourself about how much you trust him; if the answer is ‘not very much’ then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship. If you become jealous merely from thinking he is cheating, without proof, then he may end up cheating as you expect him to anyway.

·      Don’t butt into the boys’ zone
All boys share a different relationship with their friends than their girlfriend and it can be very difficult for girls to understand this bond. They have private jokes (affectionately known as ‘banter’) which sometimes might not seem right from a girlfriend’s point of view. However, it is a fact of life that boys will be boys and this is not going to change anytime soon, so this is one you are going to have to accept and just let it be. Once you start interfering with your boyfriend’s social circle the issue of ‘bros before hoes’ may arise, leading to consequences. 

·      Remember: He is your boyfriend and not your best friend
Being close to your boyfriend is important but make sure you don’t cross the line. This is because you may end up having a roomie bond with him instead of a hot one. As much as you might enjoy hanging in your onesie with a bright green face mask on with your female friends, there are some things that boyfriends are better off not knowing about. Without this boundary, you run the risk of killing your sex-life and sending him elsewhere for satisfaction. Save the gossip session for when you hang out with your girlfriends!

·      Make him feel wanted
Every girl wants attention and love, and so do guys. Show him that he is important. Make him feel that you really love him by simple acts like stroking his arm while you are watching TV, baking his favourite cake or taking his hand when you are walking down the street. Small things can make a lot of difference and bring you closer together as a couple, making him appreciate you more.

·      Give him a chance to explain
Whenever you have a disagreement, let him talk and explain himself before shouting at him. Getting annoyed and especially not talking to him should be the last thing you do during a fight. Always make sure that you both talk and get a chance to state what’s on your mind; communication is the key to any successful relationship and a situation which may seem suspicious to you may have a perfectly harmless explanation.  

·      Take time out of your relationship
This may seem contradictory, but you also need to take time out just for you. There is no point in giving him space and waiting around for him to return if you do not make the most of your solitary time alone. Go and hang out with friends, go shopping, watch that really cheesy chic-flick. No guy wants a girlfriend whose life revolves around him, so reminding him that you have a life of your own now and again will maintain a small sense of the mystery that you had at the beginning of the relationship. This will help to stop any boredom and healthy distance in moderation can only serve to strengthen. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder!

In conclusion, a relationship doesn’t just work out by itself, they require special effort. The right balance between distance, rationality and appreciation of each other should ensure a happy and lasting relationship and minimise any risk of potential straying. Remember, boys love their toys and maintaining the sense of novelty and fun is crucial to stop him from looking elsewhere.

Hannah first joined Her Campus as part of the Illinois branch as a writer during her study abroad year at UofI. While in the US, Hannah joined Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority and subsequently began to write a weekly column for the Greek newspaper, The Odyssey. Now back home in the UK, Hannah has founded the first ever UK HC branch for her own university, The University of Leeds. She is in her final year of a Politics degree and is excited for the year ahead and what great things Her Campus Leeds will achieve. Outside of her studies, Hannah enjoys travel, fashion and being an alumni of The University of Leeds Celtics Cheerleading squad where she ran as PR Secretary for the committee during her 2nd year.