I know the classic uni rule (no, not ‘Beer after wine and you’ll feel fine; wine after beerand you’ll feel queer’, although it is an important one) that says you should never get romantically involved with a housemate. Anyone who has ever lived with the opposite sex at university will dispense this advice to freshers on a ‘need-to-know’ basis. My friends were no different; ‘don’t go there’ warned one of my friends, ‘It never ends well’ cautioned another. However, halfway through my second year I duly ignored these pearls of wisdom and intrepidly embarked on a relationship with a guy I live with.
After being friends for a year and a half there was a strange transition phase as we wondered how our four other housemates would react to living with a couple. Deciding to get used to the idea ourselves before telling them, our first month together was spent having secret lunch dates at the Terrace and ‘watching films’ in one of our rooms. However, one thing I learnt from all this, is that you can’t keep anything from the people you live with. When we finally gained the courage to break the news that we were in a relationship, having prepared ourselves to deal with an onslaught of, “What?! Have Ronnie and Sam from Jersey Shore taught you nothing??” we were instead hit with the response, “Yeah we’ve known the whole time.” Oh right.
Of course they had reservations and concerns about what would happen if we were to break up, particularly as we had already signed our house contract for the following year. Luckily we were able to reassure them that there would be no fighting (we saved that for a night out at Oceana) and no excluding ourselves from the group in a major way. As expected, there were weeks of relentless banter, inappropriate questions and promises to dance round us in a circle during our first public kiss. However, once the initial novelty died down, it became a normal part of our house dynamic. I appreciated them being OK with it because I know, for me, the idea of living with a couple would’ve been as welcome as a 9am seminar with a hangover.
So what are the benefits of living with someone you’re dating? For the many students who see uni as a time to escape romantic obligation, it may seem baffling why you would want to (literally) invite it onto your doorstep. But living with your lad has its perks; there’s always someone to cuddle on the sofa, someone to take your bad day out on and, most importantly, no walk of shame the next morning. That’s right ladies – you can avoid that tragic walk down Brudenell Road rocking the panda-eyed, last-night’s-clothes look that, lets face it, only Kate Moss can pull off.
Now let me make this clear – I’m not surmising that cohabiting at uni works for every couple. Having lived together as friends is half the battle, as you already know and accept each other’s annoying habits. The second key to success is your own bedroom. With my own space I am free to watch as many online episodes of Sex and the City as I like, because, let’s face it, there’s no guy out there who loves their girlfriend enough to watch Sarah Jessica Parker talk about shoes for half an hour. If you know of one, please send him my way (only joking….sort of). Having your own room allows time to yourself, crucial in any relationship, but even more so when you live under the same roof.
I also have to warn you, that if you’re the type of girl who can’t let your fella see you unless you’re glammed up, avoid cohabitation at all costs. No one can be sexy all the time, and sometimes all you want to do is deal with that hangover in your favourite Primark pyjamas and your hair in the standard ‘can’t be bothered’ topknot.
And whoever said living together kills the romance?
Dating your housemate works if you have serious feelings for each other and genuinely want to see where it could go. If you just fancy a bit of fun after a few too many tequilas at Fruity, it’s safe to say it’s probably not going to have a happy ending. Either way, it’ll become the best relationship ever, or the worst drunken mistake of your uni life. Take your pick!