They say write about what you know. Well, one thing I certainly know is being a single lady! Now, don’t get me wrong girls, I’m not expecting a handsome prince to come galloping down Briggate and whisk me off my feet outside Starbucks (as lovely as that would be), but I have to say, I am beginning to wonder just where my Prince Charming is?! At the ripe old age of 22, having been ‘dating’ (for want of a better word) for about the last 10 years and never really having had a serious relationship, a girl does begin to wonder … what’s wrong with me?! Yes, ok so that sounds a little pathetic, but we’ve all been there – Valentines day arrives, but there’s no flowers… no card from a secret admirer … no surprise chocolates. Just another dinner for one, followed by some hardcore slobbing-out on the sofa, cuddling a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and watching a chick flick … because you can!
It’s just all a bit of a minefield out there. Me? I meet plenty of guys, but you know the score. They’re either already in relationships, just out on the pull, or bat for the other team. Alas, what is the single girl to do? We spend hours agonising over our outfits before nights out, groom ourselves to look, and feel, great – because we all know confidence is the most attractive quality. But, are we wasting our time? And anyway, what is so great about these men people we seem so intent on chasing?! Obviously being the veteran singleton that I am, I’m completely clueless when it comes to answering this question. So, I asked you …
Amy, 28, from Leeds says, “I am in a relationship with a lovely guy and 3 years ago we got engaged!” Wow! So I guess you’re definitely pro-relationships? “Well, to be honest I don’t really remember being single it’s been that long! But I will say that overall I prefer relationships because I tend to get lonely when I’m single.” Hmm, loneliness is no fun. It’s like when you get a party invitation that asks you to RSVP just you or plus one – dreadful! So, hoping Amy might have some tips, I asked, where did you meet your Prince Charming? “Well, it was actually my mum who introduced us about 10 years ago. He chased me for years, but I only gave in 6 years ago.” Do you think match-making is a good idea then? “Really, I think the best way to meet guys is through friends. That way you are theoretically less likely to end up with a complete w***er! But basically, anywhere that is NOT a nightclub.”
Fran, 21, from Huddersfield certainly agrees. She explained how she once took a bouncer home, who ended up being a dominatrix! “Terrified was not even the word!” (I bet!).
But fear not party animals! It seems that, for some of us at least, bars and clubs aren’t necessarily no-hope zones. Heather, 21, from Sheffield, explains how her last two long-term relationships both started from nights out: ‘’I met one guy at a club when I was in sixth-form and the other on my recent year abroad in Australia. It was 12, blissful, sun-shiney, mini-break-in-a-van-filled months!’’ Awww, dreamy.
Dates: do we love them, or loathe them? And why? I could write a book about some of my ‘dating’ experiences, but I think that’s best left for another article. Instead, I went searching for your juicy stories. And, I have to say, you had lots! I asked Amy if she’d ever had a particularly bad or embarrassing date … “Oh gosh yes! I was once sat in Est Est Est with a guy. (It was our first date). Then, all of a sudden, his ex stormed in, threw a drink all over him and told me, at the top of her voice, that he had given her the clap! I thought I might die!” Eek!
Quite frankly I blame Walt Disney. He gave me completely unrealistic expectations about men and romance! Take Beauty and the Beast. So Belle didn’t have the most enviable start to life – daughter of a pauper. And I guess she had her fair share of morons with that Gustav guy constantly stalking her. But she certainly did ok for herself in the end. She got to live in a fairytale castle, with maids and butlers and, oh yeah … she married a gorgeous prince!!! And what about Sleeping Beauty? Awoken by the man of her dreams! I don’t know about you, but the best thing I ever get woken up by are the wood-pigeons cooing outside, or, in the holidays, my mother pulling the duvet covers off me and shouting that it’s gone noon! And as for that Snow White character, don’t even get me started!
So what’s the verdict? There are of course plenty of advantages to being single. For instance, you can come home and, after a long, stressful day, get straight into your pjs, wipe all that face paint off, and not feel the least bit self conscious about that sneaky spot that’s just appeared right in the middle of your forehead. For now then, singleton life suits me fine. But I simply can’t end up an old spinster. For a start, I don’t like cats!
The way I see it girls, whether we’re ticking ‘single’ or ‘plus one’ on those big party invitations; whether we come home to a glass of already-poured-wine, or have to pour it ourselves, we’re all princesses. So, go on … Put on your best ball gown and your killer heeled glass slippers; wear your tiara with pride; dance with the singing mugs and candlesticks; and, most importantly, let Prince Charming find you! You will no doubt have to kiss a fair few frogs along the way, but, at the end of the day, the single lady is no less a lady if ‘boyfriendless’. So don’t love it, and don’t loathe it; just accept it. (As for the cats, they’re optional).