Hello, lovelies! It’s that time of year again where everyone starts to worry about what kind of chocolate and flowers they should buy. It’s no secret that Valentine’s Day is a big deal in our society and the desire to be in a relationship when February 14th rolls around is definitely a strong one.
But what if you are in a certifiably toxic relationship? Do you stay so that you don’t have to feel alone? Do you convince yourself it isn’t too bad? Do you try to justify the reasons you should stay together even though you aren’t compatible? Do you ignore insulting comments just for a box of chocolates?
I’m here to tell you that answer is NO. You DO NOT have to stay in a relationship just because society “demeans” those who don’t have a dinner date for Valentine’s Day. You DO NOT and SHOULD NOT endure verbal attacks, lowered self-esteem, or physical attacks for the sake of a dozen roses. You are so much more than a box of chocolates, an empty love letter, or a fake promise to take better care of you. You are a warrior who made the decision to enter the relationship and the power to leave still lies in your hands!
There are so many people who struggle with leaving toxic relationships and the fight gets harder this time of year. It can be difficult to see past the haze of love the world is casting around you and it can be even more difficult to reject that haze for your own health.
So for those of you who need a helping hand to rub away the haze, here are a few thing you can do on Valentine’s Day that are infinitely better than staying in a suffocating relationship.
1. Gals/Guys Night Out
- Gather your closest friends and plan to do something that makes you all happy. It doesn’t even have to involve a fancy dinner that depletes your bank account. So, in some ways, it’s way better.
2. Watch Netflix
- Now is the time to try out all of the television shows he said were “too girly” to watch with you. It’s time to watch all the movies with your celebrity crush in it because you don’t have to worry if someone else is being offended by your affection towards them. Pant, drool, eat a bowl of ice cream without being told to watch your weight! Revel in the beauty that is Netflix and Chilling alone.
3. Go to a Spa
- Sure, you’ll have to pay for it but it’s fair to say you’ll receive better treatment and pampering at a spa than you will in any toxic relationship. Treat yourself like the queen (or king) you are!
4. Cuddle a Pet
- Pets come with an unconditional love. All they want is to please you. And most of them are more than happy to snuggle for hours. If you want a REAL love fest on Valentine’s Day, ditch that loser for a pet.
5. Work on a Skill
- Have you been neglecting your passions as a result of your relationship? Have you felt like some part of you was missing because you couldn’t draw or sing everyday? Well, now is your time to reclaim that part of you. Spend the whole day doing something by yourself that just works on you and your passions.
6. Volunteer
- Be it people or pets, there are a lot of things that can use attending to on Valentine’s Day. There are a lot of other lonely and helpless people. For some, investing time in someone else and bettering their lives is the best way to take focus off of their own hardships. It’s also a great way to feel good about yourself. And you will realize that you have A LOT to give.
7. Destroy the Evidence
- If all else fails to cheer you up, destroy the evidence of your toxic relationship. The cathartic release of burning photos and ripping up love letters will be a high unlike any other. Also, those things will be gone when you inevitably stoop in to the regret phase and won’t be there to lull you into a false sense of good times with that person.
It can be hard to be alone on Valentine’s Day and even harder to walk away from something that’s familiar. But what’s even worse is being stuck in a cycle of toxicity. This Valentine’s Day, get YOURSELF the gift of freedom.