The Morning After: How-to Deal?
Are you a participant of a one-night stand? A Victim even? Then maybe you should take a look at this.
The morning after is filled with unanswered questions: What do I do? Do I talk about it with him/her? Maybe I should just pretend it never happened…? We may not answer all your questions but we’ll definitely give you some suggestions to help you through.
Let’s admit it. The biggest goal we want is to ‘keep the cool’; to pretend like nothing happened at all. We don’t want any interactions to be awkward or uncomfortable. But let’s face it; if it’s someone we see on a day-to-day basis things may get a little weird. Obviously, you have some exceptions where both partners may not need to talk about it and everything goes on as normal—but this is for those out there who may have uneasy feelings and don’t know what to do about them. I suggest building up the courage and going in for the kill. Someone I interviewed said “If I knew or saw the person everyday I’d probably say something to them about it. Maybe like ‘Hey so… what was that?’” The best way to ease an uneasy situation is to let it out in the air.
But what if that’s not like you at all? What if you’re not the kind of person who has one-night stands or someone who talks about their feelings? Another interviewee said “I would probably pretend it never happened unless the other person brought it up.” Personally, I think that’s totally okay. To each his own. Everyone goes about certain situations differently. If you’re someone who can be okay with what you’ve done and have this not affect your everyday living (and really be okay, not just say you are) then do your thing. Why bring up something that doesn’t need to be brought up.
However, you may want to think about how the other person feels too. If you have all these questions, they might have some too. Especially if it’s someone you know. A one night stand can end up ruining a good relationship if someone doesn’t take the first step.
So what if it’s someone you will probably never see again? Then no worries right? College students can have the reputation of being promiscuous. Often, like in the movies, we’re portrayed as going to a party off-campus and having a fling with a complete stranger. Not everyone will fall into this college stereotype but if you happened to weasel your way in, it’s totally okay. Someone answered “I’d pretend it didn’t happen. I’d be sorta ashamed of myself.” You should never be ashamed of what you did and if you are, you should talk to someone. Maybe a trusted friend or a school counselor. Just think about it this way you never have to deal with the awkwardness of seeing that person. But the uncomfortable conversation may have to happen because sometimes we cannot suppress the feelings we have about ourselves—that’s why letting it out is the way to go. As humans we make mistakes and if you aren’t okay with the choice that you’ve made then you should definitely seek some guidance.
Moral of the story: Find the courage and talk about it—if necessary. If both you and your partner can pretend it never happened and you’re okay to move on, then move on. If you need to talk about it because you’re ashamed, then go for it. Don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel; if your friend is really your friend they won’t judge you and neither should you. We shouldn’t go out looking for a one-night partner because of hygiene and all that good stuff—but one-night stands happen, we’re college students for crying out loud!