You’re getting ready to go out to a nice dinner with your boyfriend. You plan on going to your favorite restaurant, where you already know what you want before even looking at a menu. The two of you are all smiles as you enjoy your evening out. Amidst the romance and the happiness, the waitress slips the check onto your table. Who makes the grab for it, you or him?
I have never been a fan of chivalry. Call me crazy, call me stupid, call me a feminist, I’m not ashamed to say it. Giving in to extreme acts of chivalry only sugarcoats female submission to men. Ladies, we don’t live in the 1800s anymore. If you’re in a relationship, BE in the relationship. This is not a vice presidency. Partners are equal members. Thousands of women didn’t spend their lives fighting (and continue to fight) for equal rights to have you live in the shadow of your man.
So then who picks up the tab? If you’ve been in a relationship and you’re past that initial stage of flirting, first impressions, and the game of 20 questions, you’re ready to really be together. For the first few dates, sure, let the guy pay if he asks you out. Free food is free food, right? But once you’ve committed, he shouldn’t have to win you over with a free meal.
Couples should share the responsibility of paying, plain and simple. Alternate your nights out, “I’ll pay tonight and you take next week.” Maybe have one pay the bill and the other the tip, and then switch next time. You could even pay for what you order, or just divide it up evenly. However you do it, don’t put that pressure on your guy to have to pay every time. Who says that guys should pay, anyway? Because they’re bigger, better, stronger, and smarter? I don’t think so.
Women should be strong figures in their relationships. We can work and make money to go out to dinner just as easily as a man can. If you are serious about your relationship and you feel comfortable with someone, splitting the costs of going out to eat shouldn’t faze you in the slightest. Be an active member in your relationship. Don’t belittle yourself or become comfortable in a role of submission. You have every right and ability to take your boyfriend out to dinner as he does to take you out. Treat him to a nice evening out, on you. Continue the fight for gender equality by bashing the stereotype of “the guy always pays.” It’s our time, ladies.