The wonderful thing about families is that they come in all shapes and sizes. When it comes time to bring a guy home, reactions may vary depending on the family and it’s traditions. Seeing as all families are different, I’m going to reach out to those fellow flirty girls who understand the severity of bringing a boy home, and thus they must make their decision wisely.
My family is loud, huge, and obnoxious. My heart goes out to every poor soul who comes through the front door as a “significant other” for any of my siblings and for me. As for me, any daring individual who wishes to whisk me off my feet must first make it through 4 lines of defense: the brothers, the uncle, the parents, and….Oma. For those who are unfamiliar with the German language, Oma means grandma. The rule is easy: do not mess with Oma. But before you can grovel at her feet, you must first make it past the brothers.
Now, the brothers are easy as long as you’re not 1) an idiot, 2) ugly, and 3) see numbers 1 and 2. My brothers love to rip apart potential boyfriends, so as long as you embrace their ridicule, you’ll be fine.
Then there’s Uncle Ray. If he doesn’t like you, not only will I never live it down, but you can forget showing your face at any family gathering. The trick with Uncle Ray is just to talk to him. As long as you’re competent enough to listen to his never-ending stories and laugh where it’s appropriate, you’re golden.
Ah, the parents. You, if you’re still alive at this point, must charm not one, not two, but three moms. Yes, I said three. My mom is married to a woman, and my dad is too. So not only do you have a double dose of moms in one sitting, but they’re lesbian moms who don’t take crap from anyone.
My dad and his wife are easy to please as long as you shake my dad’s hand and have good answers to his interrogating questions. The moms on the other hand, well, be ready for anything. And I mean anything.
If somehow you are still walking at this point, you need to muster up strength to face Oma. Now Oma is a rough-and-tough product of WWII who tells it like it is. You DO NOT want to be on her bad side. Passing with Oma is your golden ticket, but you won’t find it in a chocolate bar.
For this flirty girl, getting along with the family means everything. Once you’ve reached Oma status, I can seriously consider you for a relationship. This allows me to really think about the guys I want to pursue, but I know that this may not be true for everyone.
It’s up to you to decide how much you want your family involved in your love life, but always remember, your family may be the best way to weed out the rotten eggs.