To the "Boy" Who Cheated on Me

Dear cheaters,

Maybe you got into a relationship when you were too young and now you miss the days when you were able to walk into a bar and pick up anyone who caught your eye. Maybe you used to be happy and now things changed, you got into a routine, everything seems boring and annoying, and suddenly your significant other isn’t good enough. Maybe you're with the wrong person, or maybe there is nothing wrong at all, but everything just feels wrong. Whatever it is that you justify yourself for cheating – it's shit. Grow up and take responsibility.

I’ve been the girl who you kept up half the night, sobbing and banging my fists on the floor because your lies never stopped. I have also been the girl that you have tried to pretend didn’t exist, and the "other" girl, who you tried to convince that you didn’t love your actual girlfriend.

So when you find yourself in a situation where you are not happy anymore and start walking on the edge of doing something wrong, leave her, because it's better than breaking her trust for everyone. I know you won't do this because you feel confident and entitled to do whatever you want, but you're not.

I wish I could say, men, like you disgust me, but I also have to admit that I have fallen for your quick moves, icy eyes, and sob stories. Who even knows whether the stories you used as pick-up lines were true. Most of the time, I feel an urge to show up and just punch you in the face, when a person like you, who is obviously in a committed relationship, hits on me or denies that you ever flirted.

You are probably sitting on your couch with your Miller Light, contemplating picking up your phone and calling to tell me how I don't understand. How I can't relate to your situation. Oh, but I can. I get why people would want to cheat. We've all been there. That night you got drunk and got all the attention you didn't get from your partner, or you just literally wanted to prove to everyone that no one ties you down because you are too young to be committed, right? And even if you're not “too young,” everyone deserves a little fun.

No harm, right? That's if she doesn't know because now all your friends are the gatekeeper to the fact that you're flirting with every girl. They think, "Why would she care, anyway?" While you think, "It doesn't really mean anything; you can always go back to your relationship afterward, or even walk away if this is more fun because your feelings come first. I’m pretty sure if roles were reversed, though, you wouldn't feel the same way.

The problem is that for once you’re not the victim, for once you cannot cry the blues because you broke someone you supposedly “love." The difference between you and people who might have thought about cheating but never did is that they had the balls and the integrity to stand up and make a decision. Beer may have influenced your decision, but that’s not your excuse because you don’t cheat with someone you don’t have feelings for.

If you love her, then man up and confess what happened before it happens again. Why wouldn't you tell her if you love her? I thought all your reasons were logical, isn't that what you keep telling yourself? Tell her about the texts, the way you poured your heart out, the way you looked at me and pretended you weren’t doing anything wrong even when people asked whether you had feelings for someone else. Give her the same choice that you made for both of you.

As you make a list of all the reasons you are cheating to justify yourself, or even if you feel you don't need to explain yourself to anyone, you should ask yourself how you would feel if someone treated you the same way, how a few years ago you felt the same way. You have the biggest ego and the biggest fear of being treated like you treat others.

For those of you that have been cheated on, I am sorry. You deserve better than the lies and empty promises. Unfortunately, you aren’t alone. In today’s society, everyone finds it’s acceptable to cheat until it happens to them. One day you will meet someone great. 

One of the last people who could stomach you