Have a question you just really wish a guy would answer? Well here’s your chance! This month’s Real Live College Guy is J.R. Vanko ’13 and he’s answering the questions you asked when we polled last month in Warch Campus Center.
What is up with the “I hooked up with this girl and now I can’t talk to her in public” attitude that guys have?- Anonymous ‘13
Men and women approach the whole concept of hooking up from different angles. Often times men that hook up with women after they have been out drinking become completely awkward the next day in public because they no longer have that liquid courage they had last night. I would say you have a few options for handling this situation. Option one, clearly, is to just let it go. Option two, when you run into each other at a party next time just hang out but don’t go to bed with him, some times you need to drag him along for a while so that he realizes that it’s just as much a “booty call” for you as it is for him.
Why is it so hard to voice your feelings? Anonymous ‘14
Hmm…Women and men approach the expression of feelings in very different ways, I want to start off by making that point very clear. The reason I start with that is because we also have very different interpretations for how or when someone should express how they are feeling. I am guessing your hoping I would address the male race’s inability to express themselves so I wont bore you with hurdles that women have to overcome to express themselves too and save that for another time. There are several reasons that men are careful about expressing their feelings the common response to your question is that they don’t want you to think they are emotional or insecure. Another answer would be because they are scared of how you will react. What women don’t often realize is that men over think most things, especially when it comes to how a girl is going to react to something they do or say. We constantly go back and forth about what the right thing to say and what we think your reaction is going to be. Thus, far more times than not it’s just easier for us to not express any of our feelings what so ever. So my advice to you on this one would have to be, give him time. Realize that it’s not something you’re doing, but more with his level of comfort. Find ways to help make him more comfortable opening up to you but take small steps and try not to push or pry.
Boobs or Butt? -Sarah L. ‘13
Ok, believe it or not I get asked this question a lot. I think that the answer is different for every guy. Some guys are all about the boobs, some like a hand full and some don’t. While other guys are all about some serious butt! They like to be sure they have something to grip! In my opinion the answer to this question is a healthy balance of both. You need to have a good chest but also a little bit of butt. You see if there’s too much of one he can easily get distracted but if there’s a balance then it will be enjoyable for both you and him. Now, this does not mean that you need to worry about what you have or don’t have. To be completely honest I think that regardless of which asset of yours is the best, they serve as a bonus factor to the already wonderful perk of having you in his life. So, worry not about what you have or don’t but more about who you have or don’t.
Why do men lie? (i.e. Tell you you’re beautiful to get in your pants or sleep with you)- Anonymous ‘14
Well this is a loaded question! People lie for many reasons, and to answer this one I think we need to acknowledge that there are many women who do this quite well too! We are all very persuasive creatures that are determined to get what we want. Let’s be honest here we are also horny college students that have needs we want satisfied. So often times we will do whatever it takes to accomplish our goals, I mean we are Lawrentians! I think this is the only justification that I can really give for this question. As far as some advising on this matter, I would say this, if you are quick to trust and believe everything they have to say to the point that you are quick to let them into your pants then sweetheart you need to stop and put those pants back on! Have some respect for your self, set some personal rules, have a few dates, learn more then just where he lives on campus. You are a smart young college woman and you should be fully equipped with the social skills you need to know if he’s into you or not. If you don’t think you know, watch He’s Just Not That Into You–maybe that can help. When it comes down to it, you have to respect and protect yourself. That boy can only lie to you if you let him, and never forget the power of the word ‘NO’!
What’s a major turn on/off about a female or male?-Anonymous ‘13
The response that I bet you’re looking for here would be, big boobs, a nice ass, good eyes, well endowed, nice face, blonde hair, ripped body, well groomed. For turn offs, bad teeth, big ears, small endowment, bad in bed, terrible kisser, short, too tall, out of shape, etc… However, I think we should be moving on beyond those stereotypical physical factors, though I will be mentioning a few of those below. So lets mix things up and start with turn offs. I think a very big turn off is lack of basic manners, chewing with their mouth open (Really, you’re not a horse!), lack of ability to hold an extended conversation. If sex comes up in the conversation more than once or even in the first conversation.. HUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM! This person’s eye is not on the right prize, I mean unless that’s what you’re going for then skip the meal and save your money! Okay, and the one physical thing is not being well put together, brush your hair and teeth, put a little time, effort, and thought into what you’re going to wear out to see me. Now, for what’s a major turn on, someone who makes note of those tiny details from the first moment they meet me, for example the color of my eyes. Another one is the ability to talk about more than just what I am interested in or what things I like to do other than my class work. I would have to say the biggest turn on is when someone can prove that they are actually genuinely interested in you as a person. Throw everything out the window, and just make the effort to learn about you and to get to know everything about you and then to take that and not forget it but rather use it to care about you in the future. So you don’t have to take my thoughts on this one and I would urge you not to, all I will say is take a minute to move beyond the physical and figure out what makes you feel special and what makes you want to run away!
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Lawrence chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.