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It took me long time to understand that it’s okay not to settle for something. Settling doesn’t necessarily have to be about a romantic partner, but also about friendships, jobs, opportunities, and essentially almost anything.

I used to feel so guilty when I felt someone’s presence drew negative energy and considered having to cut them off, or if I planned to leave when I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of a job. At the end of the day, though, it’s okay to leave when you don’t feel satisfied. For so long I guilt-tripped myself into staying in situations that didn’t add any value to my life or my happiness, and when I finally realized that I could leave, my life changed for the better and I couldn’t have been happier.

It gets tricky when it comes to relationships and friendships, especially when you have so much history with someone, and you share so much with them. It’s important to put your mental health above it all because if you’re not gaining anything from someone’s presence in your life, instead more or less only receiving negative energy from it, there’s no longer any reason for you to stay. There’s no positive gain from it. I read a quote that suggested, “Don’t try to fit into spaces you’ve outgrown,” and it opened my eyes to a different perspective on life. There are so many things we do out of habit, so many relationships we keep because it’s become a part of our daily routine. However, you will only know what you’re capable of once you step out of this confined, routine-like box and explore new opportunities.

Always put yourself first, regardless of the situation your placed in. Don’t like a job? Quit. Don’t like the way you’re being treated? Leave. Feel like your friends aren’t motivating you, but are really pushing you down? Stop talking to them. You should never feel like you have to stay in an uncomfortable position because of the amount of years you’ve known someone, or because you feel like you owe them something. All flowers whither and drop leaves; it’s all part of the process of growing. You come first. Always choose you.

Jennany Thillairajan

Laurier Brantford '20

Laurier Brantford :)