“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
It’s the question everyone asks as soon as you learn to talk. It’s what everyone continues to ask until you’ve found a permanent full-time job.
Our answers tend to change over the years, and it’s rumoured that the average person changes their career path seven times. However, there are some people who know what they want to do their entire lives.
For those of us who don’t, it’s easy to feel lost. The feeling gets worse the longer it goes on. I’m in my final year of university and I’m still not sure what I want to do once I graduate. It’s scary. If we don’t know what we want by now, what are we meant to do with the rest of our lives?
Nobody seems to talk about that kind of fear. Everyone’s expected to have a dream and to chase after it until they reach it, but no one wants to admit they don’t have a dream to begin with.
It’s ironic that I’ve found comfort in music. It’s ironic because I shouldn’t be able to relate to people who have achieved the kind of success that I’ll probably never have.
I wish I could explain why I love the Korean band, Bangtan Boys (BTS), more than any other artist I listen to. It’s probably because they recognize the loneliness that comes from not knowing what to do with your life.
Seven boys from much different backgrounds understand me better than people I’ve known for years. It’s weird, I know.
It was during my third year when I heard a song called “So Far Away.” When I looked up the translated lyrics, there was one that stuck out:
“’Everything’s going to be alright if you go to university and do as we tell you.’ I’m the asshole for believing those words.”
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a writer. I quickly learned that was too ambitious and that I should aim for a realistic career. So, I decided to become a social worker instead. That was much more acceptable, and I felt I should take the safer option.
That’s the expectation for the majority of us. However, we still question our choices. I’ve sat with friends late at night while we wonder if we’ve made the right decisions. None of us know for sure.
We still push ourselves. Uncertainty isn’t an excuse for falling behind in school. But it’s hard to work towards something you aren’t even sure you want.
There’s another BTS song that came out this year called “Paradise.” “Stop running for nothing,” they say.
That’s not to say education isn’t important. Rather, it’s ridiculous to constantly compare yourself to the people around you. You’ll get to your destination when you get there. BTS emphasizes that being happy in the moment is enough for now. Our dreams don’t need to be the same as others.
It’s refreshing to hear someone with a global platform reiterate that. Especially when we aren’t hearing it from the people surrounding us.
There are tons of lyrics from BTS that reassure me that I’m not the only one who feels this way. At the same time, they remind me that I’ll find something to work towards in time.
“Wherever you are right now, you’re just taking a break,” is from my favourite BTS song, “Tomorrow.” I see my friends taking the next steps in their careers while I remain at a standstill. I remind myself of this lyric when I start to feel inadequate.
I was lucky enough to go to their concert last week and was surprised to see so many people my age (and older) there. I like to think this band’s music is almost like a soundtrack for all of us who are lost. However, it’s hard to feel lonely when a stadium of 17,000 people is singing along with you at the top of their lungs.
You haven’t come to a full stop if you aren’t sure how to move forward. I think that’s something we all need to hear at some point in our lives.