Kristen Kinsky is a fashion professor here at Lasell College, but that is not all she does; Kinsky is also the mother to her two sons, Chase and Ryan. Chase is 11 years old and Ryan is 12, and both boys play baseball, a love they received from their father. Chase is musically talented, with a love for guitars and singing; however, he doesn’t love to practice (Kinsky says he could have gotten that habit from her). The boys are smart, funny, and kind, and incredibly lazy and dependent at times.
“I’m working on this, but I fear it is a “boy” thing that will take more effort to break,” said Kinsky. “They are the most amazing things that ever happened to me- and my world changed in a way I never thought possible when I became a mother.”
Kinsky feels it is very important to be a mother who also has a career of her own. She does, however, feel it is a personal choice and understands the choice of the woman who want to be a mother full-time.
“Being a working mom is REALLY hard, but being a stay-at-home mom is REALLY hard too,” Kinsky said. “Women shouldn’t have to add the weight of guilt into the equation, although most of us do. Proving something to yourself is fine, and following your dreams of having a successful career is great too- but you should do it because it is right for you and your situation, not because others think you should.”
Kinsky does feel that whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, it is important to have something that you do that is truly yours. “Children need to see that there is more to their mom than taking care of them and cleaning house, and it reminds the husband that they are people too, equals even, if they may not be the money makers,” she said. A lot of respect goes to Kinsky for breaking through maternal stereotypes.
She also feels she brings her maternal ways into the way she teaches, sharing that she believes it is sometimes hard to act professional while teaching when so much of her life is also being a mom.
“I can never fully shed the part of me that wants to protect and care for others, and I think motherhood did that to me,” Kinsky said. “Juggling important jobs is a big part of being a woman and a mother.”
When asked how she teaches her sons to respect women she says, “I show my sons that I am strong, smart and brave everyday. I also let them see me cry, laugh hysterically, and be afraid. These things don’t make me weak, they make me human. We all need to be able to be all of these things at different times.”
Women often do get held up to stereotypes when showing emotion as opposed to men showing the same emotions. Kinsky says she wants them to like girls and women for who they are, and not for physical reasons. She feels that at the ages they are right now, they agree with her on this and she hopes they will still feel this way as they enter their teen years. Kinsky also teaches them personal responsibilities around the house, such as helping with dishes and dinner, so they do not feel these are women’s jobs. She is not trying to raise her boys to do everything either; she just wants them to not rely on women growing up, and be independent as well.
“I also teach them to treat their friends who are girls with extra care, including letting them go first (most of the time) and to walk them home,” Kinsky said. “Chivalry doesn’t have to be dead for feminism to live. I teach them that the girls don’t NEED this, they could be fine without it, but it is NICE and KIND and respectful to do. Manners are important with everyone-but I do (unfairly?) expect more from their dealings with females.”
If she could go back 10 years and ask herself if she thought she would be where she is now, Kinsky has mixed feelings. “10 years ago, yes. 20 years ago, NO WAY. I expected to be wild and free forever – working, but without worrying about the needs of others!” she said.
Kinsky also considers herself to be a feminist. This is due to the fact that she expects to be respected, and treated fairly. She believes that women should have the right to make decisions that work for them.
“I believe that women have everything it takes to be whatever they choose – and that they should never be limited by someone else’s ignorance,” Kinsky said. “We understand what hard work is, and even when we are tired and afraid, we will do whatever it takes to get the job done.”
Kinsky says that she does feel that being a teacher helps her be a better mom. She feels she is still learning new things every day and that no one is perfect, and this gives her the extra patience she needs sometimes. She also understands that sometimes when she wants her students and children to learn, she must let them fall, even though she wants to save them.
Kinsky ends with this statement: “We can guide them but not live for them. We can share our strength through sharing skills and teaching independence.” This can stand as an important lesson to everyone.