There’s always a talk of talk about sex during your teenage years especially during high school and college. Between the media, peer pressure, and personal gain, there’s a lot of weight put on the idea of sex, who’s having it, and more importantly, who isn’t. To a lot of people, sex is a really personal thing, to which I agree. Especially for those who are self conscious, have had sexual trauma, or are “saving themselves” for religious reasoning, saying no to sex can feel like the wrong answer.
This isn’t necessarily true. Having sex when you feel ready, and with someone you feel comfortable with isn’t something you should have to justify to anyone. You should also do it when you are in a place where you will not be afraid of the consequences. If you find yourself in a situation that you are second guessing, there’s nothing wrong with expressing that to the other person. If they are good for you, they should be understanding.
You should also be comfortable having a conversation with someone before you have sex for the first time, or for the first time with them, especially when it’s a partner. Knowing how comfortable you are with different things, your preferences, and how public you want to be about the relationship are all topics that you should be able to discuss. When having this conversation, also knowing your means of birth control is important. While female birth control, like the pill, can prevent pregnancy, a second means of protection, like condoms, also prevents STDs and STIs.
The most important thing to remember is that you should be comfortable, and if you ever have questions there a ton of resources available through any level of privacy that you are seeking.