We’ve all settled for something at one point or another. When something becomes comfortable people get the “it’s convenient, so let’s go with it” attitude. Or worse, we get the whole attitude of “might as well take what I can get.” The question we need to start asking ourselves is why? Why are we sitting back and taking what we can get? And what is it we are really getting?
After much contemplation it has become clear that we settle because A) we don’t even realize that we’re settling or B) we’ve simply lost hope in fighting for whatever dreams or goals we started with. It is time to address these problems. To take charge of our lives and our relationships and see ourselves as we would a friend whom we care about.
It is time to respect ourselves enough to not settle for convenience and comfort.
In terms of relationships, there are a couple of things that are settling deal-breakers. For example, if someone is not respectful of body boundaries, or any other boundaries for that matter, and those boundaries have been vocalized but not heard, it’s time to put that relationship in the past. Whether it’s love or friendship, someone who doesn’t follow the very clear guidelines that have been spelled out, it’s time to stop wasting time with that person.
Lying, which also falls under the “respect” category, is deal-breaker number two. Someone who constantly avoids the truth, by omitting or just outright lying is not worth trying to “fix” or spend time on. Especially if they’re pathological. Unless this person is just a hookup where little to no communication happens outside of bed, it’s time to move on.
Whether these things are new in an old relationship or come with a new relationship, it’s not right. What builds trust and longterm respect is honesty and abiding by each others boundaries. So don’t settle for anything less, and make sure to give the same.
In the workplace, it’s easy to get sidetracked and start seeing the job right in front of our noses as the job we’ll have forever. Or at least long term. What’s great is that there is an opportunity for career growth, where new dreams can replace old ones. We’re all humans and our minds change every minute. But if it’s a job that leads to very limited opportunities, try not to settle in for the long haul. The best is deserved by those who don’t settle for less.
We become comfortable in these jobs, these relationships, and everything else in our lives, that sometimes we forget that life is all about taking risks. This doesn’t mean quit that job because today was an awful work day and/or go cheat on your significant other because the two of you had a fight last night. It means you should take a look and see if what you’re doing is really making you happy. If bad moments or situations are happening more often than the good ones, it may be time to start looking for something that’s a little more positive. If that fight has happened repeatedly and the two sides of the relationship haven’t been happy for quite sometime, it may be time to sit down and talk about it. Reexamine the situation. See if this is just a dry spell, or bad patch, or if it’s something more serious.
It’s time to stop settling. Start living. Your life, your terms.