I became a student at Lasell to study Fashion Design and Production, and at first, I was ecstatic. I was so excited to be able to design my own clothes and turn them into real garments that’ll be shown in the annual fashion show that all fashion design majors have to be involved in. I felt like this major was my dream; the perfect major to be in and that it’ll be one of the best choices I ever made in my life. Of course, I had to deal with the hardest parts of being a fashion design major that led me to changing my major before the beginning of this spring semester.
During my time here as a fashion design and production major, I realized how extremely stressful it was. I became so competitive against other designers that I started to despise all of my designs due to them not being “better” or more extravagant than others. I would look at the designs and think they’re no good, that they’re all pathetic, and that competitiveness became envy. When I saw other designs, I would constantly think, “I wish I did something like that” or “why didn’t I think of something cool like theirs?”. It got to the point that I would never be proud of any accomplishments that I achieved when it came to my garments, even seeing it on the runway. I didn’t exactly feel joy, but I pretended to.
My breaking point was not only failing my first class due to the intense amount of stress my garment was giving me, or the deadlines that were creeping up while not having enough time due to trying to balance all of my other work for my other classes, but that I couldn’t even relax during winter break. A whole month, I did nothing but worry, day in and day out. I didn’t finish my garment, nor did I even take care of myself, and all I did during break was worry, overthink and rot in bed. My breaking point was realizing that I was a week and a half away from spring semester starting, and that I didn’t relax at all during a whole month-long break, not even on Christmas, and that all I did was worry about what this major was going to do to me once the semester started. I knew I had to do something, but what? I then got the idea to change my major. I was scared that it would be too late, but I sent an email to my advisor anyway just to see. And after a week or less, a meeting here, and signing a form there, I was able to change from Fashion Design and Production to Fashion Media and Marketing. I have never felt more relieved but sad at the same time. I was really excited to design, but I just couldn’t do it. I’m happier in my new major, and I hope that all the fashion majors are doing great, especially since the semester is coming to an end. You got this, designers.