I haven’t been on a date in nearly two years. It’s a fact that I’m neither ashamed nor proud of. However, my currently non-existent love life unfortunately does not exempt me from having to deal with relatives asking invasive questions about it. During the holiday season, they’re pretty much inevitable. While you can’t exactly prevent your relatives from being curious about your love life, there are ways you can handle such personal questions like the mature adult you are and avoid causing a big family fallout.
Don’t get mad (or at least, don’t let your anger show)
My dad always used to say, “crying won’t solve anything.” While I’ve since come to the conclusion that that’s not entirely true (a good crying session can make you feel better), he did have a point: getting angry doesn’t resolve any problems. Being asked personal questions hits a nerve for many people, and it can be hard to not get upset when a family member interrogates you about your love life. I get extremely annoyed when someone naively assumes that I’m still dating my ex-boyfriend (who I cut out of my life a year and a half ago) and asks me about him. However, I don’t lash out at the person, I simply calmly explain that he broke up with me over a year ago. I don’t go into detail about the breakup, because I don’t want to make myself angry by thinking about it. So take a deep breath, provide a brief answer, and move on.
Provide brief but complete answers
If you don’t like people asking you questions about your love life, the best way to stop them from coming is to just answer them. You don’t need to go into detail, but provide enough information that there aren’t any lingering questions. For example, if someone asks if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and you don’t, simply saying “no” probably won’t cut it. nstead, say something like, “I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment and I’m not really in the market for one right now.” Providing longer answers is less likely to come off as snarky, and providing sufficient information will prevent the dreaded string of related questions
Don’t involve yourself in conversations about relationships
If you come from a big family like I do, chances are there will be several simultaneous conversations going on at a family gathering. It’s very possible that one of those conversations could be about relationships, and if so, try not to get involved in them. Even if you just want details about your cousin’s new SO, it’s best to ask them in private than risk being interrogated about your own love life.
Relatives can be annoying sometimes, but you can’t exactly avoid them. As such, invasive questions about you love life are going to be part and parcel of your family gatherings until you get married. Even if you can’t dodge them, handling them in the correct way will allow things to run much smoother.