In middle school, I was certain I would become a healthcare worker. I dreamed of being so smart and valued and being able to help those in need. I continued this dream into high school but was quickly shot down by my struggling GPA. I thought that there was no way I could endure all those years of schooling. I wasn’t sure if I could endure even one year more. I felt so lost and I wondered if I could even go to college at all. I wanted to, but without a plan, what would I do?
Regardless, I started touring random local colleges during my junior year. I had no expectations and was just touring as someone with an undecided major. On one random, very unappealing, tour I was introduced to the prospect of a fashion design major. I mean, it made sense, there are tons of people out there who have to design the clothes we wear every day, but for some reason, I had never considered this to be an option. Now, I love to sew, so I was ecstatic about this new possibility. I could specialize in something I loved, avoiding excessive papers and tests, while enjoying a hands-on kind of learning. I thought it was my major soulmate and I felt so secure and excited to begin college for the first time.
After the first semester, I thought everything was going well. I enjoyed my sewing class, although I did NOT enjoy the draping class. But I thought, “Well that’s okay! I can’t possibly expect to enjoy every class I take.” But with every meeting with my advisor, as we looked into my future, I was dreading every part of it. From future coursework, and future study abroad programs, even when thinking about future careers, I felt so uninspired. I realized how competitive the fashion business is and that even if you’re only a design student, you are still expected to know and excel in the marketing and business side of fashion. While I enjoyed sewing small projects for myself or gifts for my friends, being forced to design things for a grade with strict limitations and requirements quickly drained all of my creativity. As I looked into my years ahead, all I could see was fashion. Every course outside of the core curriculum would have to be for the major, only a couple of electives would be available in senior year. Studying abroad was only possible if you chose a fashion program in a few select cities. Otherwise, you would run out of time to meet the rigid credit requirements. You had to start interning and networking as soon as possible otherwise there would be hundreds of other people to take that space.
I realized that while I do love sewing, it’s not the right career for me. Some people can make their hobby their career, but I can’t. That was something I could only discover with time and experience. I was embarrassed to share my feelings at first because I was initially so unwaveringly passionate about going into this program. My family was so supportive and proud that I had found something I was excited to pursue. I felt guilty for changing my mind. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind, especially when it directly impacts your life. Take advantage of your ability to change majors, it’s a tool, not a failure. I don’t regret spending my first two semesters as a Fashion Design major, because it gave me insight into what I do want, which is to study history.
Despite having a horrid experience in high school, I yearned to go back to that traditional academic structure of coursework. I wanted to research and write and delve so deep into a topic that I exceeded the paper requirements by a couple of pages. It’s who I am as a worker; I’m a curious person who loves to learn, and that’s what I should focus on for my career. High school is so different from college. Don’t let a bad high school experience limit you from pursuing what you align with the most, because whatever it is, you can make it work in college.