21 Thoughts During A Rugby Game

Weekends are reserved for the sacred, sleeping in, brunch, and being eternally confused by Rugby. Here are the 21 most frequent thoughts during a rugby game.

  1. First and foremost, why don’t they wear helmets? You’d think they want some protection after ramming their heads together for two hours.

  2. Why does the clock never stop? They keep stopping and standing around but the clock never stops, who’s in charge of the clock? I mean I’m not complaining but…

  3. How come when they take a water break they squirt the water everywhere but their mouths? How do they get hydrated?

  4. It is seriously surprising that they don’t pants each other when they tackle one another- but opportunity missed am i right?

  5. What’s a ruck?

  6. What’s a scrum?

  7. What’s that thing where they throw the guys up in the air? Are they gymnasts now?

  8. Do you think their shorts could get any shorter?

  9. It’s crazy how similar Rugby and True American are- not that I understand either of them but I'm sure Jessica Day has a firm grasp on both.

  10. Doesn’t it seem counter-intuitive to kick the ball towards the other team?

  11. How is it that every time they start playing again it looks like there were more players on the field than when they stopped...

  12. How do they go from the hulk to a puppy in .2 seconds, so aggressive and yet so gentle?

  13. That moment when your friend goes down and you seriously contemplate whether or not they’re going to get back up again.

  14. But then they do get up and you know they are for sure concussed.

  15. What would happen if someone farted during a scrum?

  16. Cringing with the crowd at a particularly bad tackle, nothing’s quite like that “oof” in unison.

  17. How does this scoring work? The numbers keep going up they don’t appear to be scoring any points.

  18. Are there any boundaries? I swear they’d chase the ball straight into the crowd if they could run fast enough.

  19. Where are they running?

  20. Where is the ball?

  21. Are there any rules? Never mind, probably not.

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