You open up Netflix, scroll through the options front of you like you’re choosing a meal on a menu. You find something – the show that’s gathered gleaming reviews from your friends and critics, and you recognise the face as ‘that one guy from Gossip Girl’. You press play. You watch as this man, a charming man, dangerously stalks and brutally kills.
And you love him.
When I first sat down to watch You, I wasn’t all too sure what to expect. I didn’t know much, having steered clear of spoilers and articles in fear of ruining the experience for myself. I had no idea what to expect. And I certainly did not expect to root for the abusive, straight, white guy.
Glass Box of Ignorance
You is a Netflix show that has been met with massive applause from viewers. It follows the story of main character Joe Goldberg as he stalks and manipulates the women he ‘loves’. And it acts as a perfect example of the forgiveness society is willing to give as long as the culprit is a straight, white man. It purposefully lets us find Joe charming, funny, and at times even sweet, as he protects children and women from other abusers as if he is not one himself. The viewer gladly glosses over his saviour complex in favour of his sarcastic jokes and charming smile, and soon it’s too late; the women are dead, and Joe is safe.
But we root for him. Unknowingly, watching this show through his warped perceptions of himself, we become warped too; we become manipulated. We forgive and forget and turn a blind eye when the next victim falls, and the glass doors of the cube slam shut. The cube which itself demonstrates our blindness to what is right in front of us. The abuse is there, and it is clear through the shining glimmer of the glass. But it’s locked and behind a closed door. It is ignored. It rots until Joe is hurling and throwing it away to make way for the next victim.
‘It says something about how we are willing to be patient and forgive someone who inhabits a body that looks something like mine…’
Penn Badgley, the actor that portrays Joe Goldberg, is quick to acknowledge his problematic role. In interviews, the actor points out and criticises the willingness to forgive as long as the perpetrator has ‘these sorts of privileges’.
He also reminds us that this is purposeful, that Joe is made to be likeable. He is made to be a funny, relatable character with his cynically sarcastic tendencies and his surprisingly progressive views. We’re not the only ones who fall for it; many characters do and not all of them women. It is an excellent portrayal of manipulation through the eyes of the manipulator.And Joe is so good at it, he manipulates us too.
And he’s not the only one. Henderson (of season 2) brings along charming comedy and inspiring anecdotes, whilst simultaneously dragging down countless female victims behind his glamorous, inspirational life. And unlike his bland comedy and cheesy stories, no one will listen to the women he abuses. The consumers of his content in You are the show’s audience, and we wonder why anyone can love Henderson before swooning over Joe Goldberg.
A terrifying allegory
Joe is not just a charming, manipulative stalker and killer. He is a social device that is made to shock and disturb an audience into loving him. Joe is an allegorical depiction of victim-blaming and white forgiveness. Joe might not be real, but his counterparts, the people he represents are.
Joe gets away with it, and it’s terrifying to think that they could too.