Nowadays, every time we open up Facebook, we are swamped by a cascade of terrible clickbait headlines such as the one above this article. The vaguest of headlines are thrown into our faces in the vein hope that we’ll click on them in our blind intrigue. ‘You’ll NEVER guess how this person reacted to THIS THING’! You’re right! I’ll NEVER guess! I must click! I must know!
This is not art. This is not journalism. Journalism is over. It is time for us to leave this once credible profession behind and transcend to the next step in the evolution of media distribution: pictures of Spiderman!
Yeahhhhhh. Now we’re talking. Forget buzzfeed, forget LAD Bible, this is the new thing. Just look at him; so much to discuss, to discover! Check out those wrists, huh? Do the webs come out of there? I don’t know! Let’s take a peek at some more pictures to find out!
Well, there’s your answer. The web seems to come out of some sort of mechanism placed on his wrist! Wow! I can’t wait to find out more about this character, this vigilante, this saviour of New York City. If only that new Parker kid could hurry up with my coffee so I can stay alert enough to carry on browsing these sweet, sweet pics and redefine journalism forever.
Oh good, Parker! You’re here! Where’s my coffee? You know what, never mind. Get in here! I’m onto something big!
See, Parker! Check it out! What’s he standing like that for? What a guy! I think we should reshuffle this whole online magazine into nothing but pictures of Spiderman! But first, let’s carry on browsing these Google Images results! Like this photo right here, perhaps… *click*
Wait, my God! Parker! You’re Spiderman!? This is huge! What a scoop! This is gonna make front page tomorrow lemme tell ya! I guess journalism isn’t dead after all! Legitimate, intelligent stories will live to fight another day, all thanks to Spiderman!
Great job, Parker! I mean, Spidey! You really did it this time!