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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at La Verne chapter.

I decided to write about independence for my article because I have not been independent throughout my entire life. Although I was working as a full-time employee and got the right amount of pay, I had lived with my parents and depended on them for a home. Then I recently decided to go back to school for my master’s degree, and yet here I am still not entirely independent.

Now, my biggest goal is being super independent after I graduate from school. I’m talking about both financial and mental, and I do not want to depend on anyone anymore.

My mother has been a housewife for almost all her life. I’ve never seen my mom working, not even a part-time job. Besides never working, she is always telling me to keep working hard so I can be independent. For some girls, being a housewife is kind of a “dream job,” but when I think of my mom, I feel like she literally sacrificed everything that she wanted to do for our family. I don’t want to do the same things, although I appreciate my mom and her hard work.

In my home country Japan, it is usual to be a housewife for most of the girls after they got married until quite recently. In today’s day and age, things are starting to change but I’ve heard many girls still wanting to be a housewife or not wanting to work hard. Also, not that many men wish for them not to work, stay home and care about children/housework. Besides, the media in Japan like to advertise information which encourages women to “be subordinate to men” in order to have a happy life.

However, girls: depending on someone all your life can be super risky. That relationship will not be equal. It can lead to your partner looking down on you, and it is because you rely on them financially, so they think they have that control. However, if you keep work and earn money by yourself, the relationship will most likely be equal. Also, it could help with having confidence being by yourself. It can also help you deal with unexpected situations.

I believe that girls should be mentally independent as well.  We should stop putting guys at the center of our worlds. Don’t chase a guy if you like him. Don’t give up everything for him. Have confidence, get a job, hang out with friends, find a hobby you enjoy to do by yourself, live your life! Our life is short, and it only happens once.

There are two ways to live your life: either give everything up for another person or become the Queen of Independence and accomplish everything you desire! (I suggest the second choice.)

A little girl from Japan, living in Southern California.