College is crazy. People that you used to see every day, turn into people you run into during holiday breaks. Life gets in the way, and friendships fade. College is the ultimate friendship test. It is important to pay attention to those who make the effort to maintain relationships when it isn’t as convenient anymore. This isn’t a bash at the people who don’t go the extra mile to maintain a relationship, but more of an appreciation for those that do. Those are the people we should cherish.
This past year has been crazy for me. I came to a huge realization as to who my real friends were. A series of unfortunate events took place in my life. It led me to realize who actually cared about my wellbeing, and who just wanted to party on the weekends. In high school, you see your friends every day, so people seem to appear as better friends than they actually are. You’re already sitting together in class, so why wouldn’t you communicate to pass the time? These people are camouflaged by the simplicity of high school. Once you don’t see these people every day, you’ll realize that the communication fades.
Below are some key elements that made me conscious of who was a true friend:
1. They listen to you
Listening is easy to do. You just sit there and stare at the other person and nod to prove engagement. However, having someone actually listen to you, process what you’re saying, and show empathy towards you is a whole different ballpark. Listening to someone and engaging with them to a deeper level than just saying “wowwww, that’s craaazy”, is something that will go a long way with your friend.
2. They are proud of you
Telling someone you are proud of them, especially when they feel like they’re not doing enough, has the power to lift what feels like a weight off your shoulders. It’s important to celebrate each other’s accomplishments. Sending a simple text saying “Hey, I know you’re working really hard and you’re killing it!”, can make someone’s day.
3. They support your growth
A good friend knows your worth and will challenge you to live up to your value. A healthy friendship contains motivation from both sides to be our best, inspiring each other to chase our dreams. It feels good having a personal cheerleader that wants you to succeed.
4. They are honest
A good friend will tell you the truth even when it’s messy. Some people only like to hear what they want to hear, a good friend will tell you what you NEED to hear. Being honest with one another is very important. It creates a bond of trust. Being able to trust someone is a privilege that is rare.
5. They are loyal
Nobody is perfect; there’s going to be times when we screw up in life. When you screw up, take a look to see who is still standing with you. Those are the people who are loyal to your friendship and accept you, for you, through the good and the bad.
These are some things that I consider when determining if someone is a true friend to me. Maintaining my friendships that honor these elements is important to me. Surround yourself with people who make life better and brighten your life.