There's Never a Good Time

A lot of life is about timing: whether it’s asking for something or leaving at the right time to catch the shuttle, timing is key. One day or one second early or late can entirely alter an outcome. A lesson I recently learned is that there’s no good time for a breakup.

Breaking up with someone is one of the hardest parts of dating, no matter the situation. I recently broke up with my boyfriend after almost two weeks of trying to find the perfect time. It was even more difficult considering he doesn’t attend La Salle. I had already moved in by the time I realized I wanted to break up with him, and it felt wrong to make him come to campus just to break up with him, but a phone call or text felt cold. Not only that, but he was waiting on major news about his academic career, and I felt like it would be wrong of me to add another issue to the already stressful week. What was the right thing to do? As the next few days went by, I felt myself pulling away in conversations with him. The week to come would decide his whole future, but I couldn’t be fully supportive when I knew we’d be over soon. I knew I had to end it before I hurt him any more. Even more, I knew I wouldn’t be able to really focus on school until I talked to him. Every minute I waited added what felt like ten pounds of stress to my shoulders. It was eating away at me, and I couldn’t even focus on hanging out with my friends.

Finally, the day before classes began, I gave up on waiting for the perfect time and called him to talk. As soon as we broke up, I felt immense relief, and I couldn’t believe I had put it off and let the feelings fester. The stress that had ben building immediately lifted, and I felt myself enjoying the things which had become empty. Even my friends said that they noticed I became lighter and more present after the break up. Now, he and I are friends because we had an honest conversation before I let myself pull away any more.

No matter how much I wanted to time the breakup correctly, there was no way to do that. You can wait forever and make whatever excuses you need, but there is no such thing as the right time to break up with someone. There is always a reason to wait, whether it’s school, family, work, or anything in between. Staying with someone because you don’t want to make anything worse ultimately hurts them because you are not being genuine. Don’t wait. Have the talk. Make the call. Do what you need to when you need to do it.

By: Karen Kerwick