Growing up playing soccer, my coach used to tell me “life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” I never understood what he meant by that until I entered college and was hitting low points in my life.
My sophomore year I found it harder and harder to remove myself from bed, I struggled to socialize with friends it became a task to see the good in anything.
At one point, I was letting one person ruin my life and make it a living hell. I felt like life kept kicking me down everyday and that I had no control over my own life.
As I was doing what I normally did, scrolling through the Internet. I found an add for a half marathon in a few months in Philly. I clicked on it, and the next thing I knew I was signed up for a half marathon. It didn’t make sense, but something urged me to willingly pay $100 to put my body through the ringer for an immense amount of time.
The next day, I was at the gym. I started out on the treadmill and tried running but it didn’t take me too long to realize that I was extremely out of shape. My immediate thought was “I’m screwed.” If I could barely do .05 miles running while jogging, how am I supposed to run 13.1 miles.
I combatted this thought by repeatedly kept telling myself that it can and will get easier if I allow it to. Let me tell you that if anyone tells you running is fun and enjoyable, they’re lying. It sucks and it’s extremely hard.
But it gave me something I felt that I lost: control. I realized I could control everything that came with running. It also gave me the feeling of purpose, which I had felt that I lost. It was just me and the ground below me, making it all a mental game. I had no one telling me to speed up, slow down, or take a break except me.
You’re just alone with your thoughts and music, which to me was terrifying. Running and stepping across the finish line was not for anyone else except myself. I wanted to prove to myself that there is a purpose for everything you do, and whatever life throws at you, it’s all about the reaction.