Where Did Summer Go?

I'm assuming everything thinks summer went by too fast like it always does. But this time, it feels different. 

To me, it felt like summer began back in March when the university transitioned to online learning and I no longer had to fulfill my student teaching obligations. I spent the first month of ‘quarantine’ finishing my Honors Capstone project and fretting over where I would be moving to after my lease went up. Soon, the presentation came and went and we were less than three weeks away from graduation. It still didn’t hit me that I was a senior and I was graduating. It felt fake, although the crying was definitely real. 

May 9th disappeared, sooner than I expected and I was now an adult with a bachelor's degree. It still felt surreal, like this was all some cabin fever dream and I didn’t wake up yet. Even though I knew I was done with classes and I had nothing to do for school, I didn’t feel done. I still felt like I had a paper to write or to practice for a concert. 

The summer was spent trying to get my brand recrafted into something better. I hit 600 subscribers on YouTube, launched a website, rebranded everything, started streaming on Twitch and redid my listings on Etsy. I still feel like I’m not where I want to be before going into fall semester. 

June just...existed. Nothing exciting happened minus packing to move into my new apartment. It didn’t feel like the way summer should. There should’ve been events to go to, friends to see, places to explore. But those were not viable options this year, as I opted to stay in my apartment all day, doing what I could to work on my brand in my small bedroom space. 

And soon enough, July 1st came around and I moved into my first one bedroom apartment. I was super excited to finally have my own space, and I’m not even done with the finishing touches. I honestly couldn’t believe I had lived here for a month before August arrived. And with that, came other issues. 

Is campus going to be safe? Who knows. I feel torn in both directions, being able to see both sides of the situation as to why we need to reopen vs all the reasons we should remain online. I spent the time trying to transition from being a music to student affairs scholar, having to remind myself that the music department was no longer my home. 

This last week with everyone moving back into town felt...off. I spent the last eight summers-before-school doing band camp and the last 4 helping with Freshman Move In Day. But because of COVID, those can’t happen. It makes me feel that next week is just another week of break. It feels no different. 

It doesn’t feel like I should be starting my masters program next week. Summer really did go by too quickly. And frankly, if we end up going back online, I wouldn’t be too mad about it. I got my Starbucks fix to last me a couple more months, I’m ready for it.