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What to Consider Before the Big “Move-In”

Anyone who has been in a relationship has probably considered living with his or her significant other at some point.  It just seems to make the most sense doesn’t it? You spend the night with one another often; you cook together, watch the same shows and may even have an extra toothbrush in your bathroom specifically for them. You might even have a million of your girlfriend’s bobby pins laying around the house. She has basically already claimed her territory so why not make it official? It may seem like a brilliant idea, there are a few things that you should really consider before making such a big decision.

1: You’re giving up a certain level of privacy. 

This is not to say that you had all the privacy in the world in the first place, but let’s face it, you will constantly be around one another.  Yes, this may seem to be exactly what you want but what about those long days where you just want to sit at home alone? You won’t have that little luxury anymore because someone else lives there too, and not just in the same building, but the same bed as well. You also have to account for the people they bring over. If there is a friend of theirs that you just can’t stand, you won’t be able to just avoid them anymore.  They will be welcome into the very living space you now share with your significant other.  Say hello to Kimmy Gibbler for me.

2: You have to learn to live with him or her. 

The only way someone survives living with their significant other is by the ancient art of “give and take”.  You can’t go on living exactly how you did before because someone else has their own routine under the same roof now.  Someone might have to get up earlier to shower before the other. Someone may hate dishes being left in the sink while the other doesn’t mind letting it sit for a month.  One of you could be a complete mess and the other may be a total neat freak.  Living with a person really does change things.  Even best friends of multiple years will grow apart because living with one another just wasn’t as great as they had anticipated. Just ask my roommate about the time she found a chicken wing in the Pringles can.

3: The, “What if?”

This is the most integral part of living with your significant other; What if you break up?  No matter who you are or how long you have been with one another, you should, above all things, think about the possibility of breaking up.  As long as there is the power of choice and free will, break ups will be 100% possible. With that said, you need to have a back up plan.  Not only will you have a lease to break and a non-refundable security deposit, but also where will you go?  Your parent’s? A friend’s? Even if one of these options is available to you, finding a new domain can be harder than you think.  How long do you think you’ll be able to live on someone’s futon or under your parent’s roof again? If they’re anything like mine, they’ll help until that help runs out.  Have a back up plan. Talk to your significant other about what the “Relationship Demolition Relief Plan”, or RDRP, will be to make sure that you aren’t left on stuck. Nothing is worse than breaking up with someone and being left with nowhere to go. There’s being sad, and then there’s being sad and homeless.

Long story short, if you think you’re immune to the surprises the universe likes to throw at us, then definitely go for it without a second thought.  However, if you’re like me, take a long time to think about it and discuss it thoroughly with your partner.  Regardless of whether or not it works out, certain things will change and you have to anticipate that. Your significant other could be a god-awful morning person but hey, maybe you’ll come around and even develop into a productive one yourself! The outcomes aren’t all bad but it is definitely better to be prepared for the worst in a situation where love, money and a place to live are on the line.

A Taco Bell-obsessed Delawarean who happens to spend most of her time in Pennsylvania.
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