There is so much that has changed in just the 22 years of my life. It might just be me who’s changing and not the world, but I hope we both are progressing for a better future. With that being said, I’m lucky. I grew up with two parents who loved each other and love me and my two siblings even more. Not only did I grow up with two amazing parents, but I grew up in a safe neighborhood. For most of my life, I was a happy kid. Yes, I had ups and down and still do, but everyone does. I’ve lucked out in life with where I grew up, my family, and with my identity. I am a cis-gender white female who is heterosexual. Let’s break that down. Cis-gender means I am the gender that was assigned to me at birth. Being white means, I was given privileges that takes away from other races. I am a female and we are strong. Heterosexual means I like the opposite sex, which is; men. With me saying I’m lucky is not me saying there is anything wrong with identifying differently than me. What I am saying is that because of my identity, I was atomically given an easier path. Of course, all people go through life and life is hard, but because I am white, cis-gender, and heterosexual, I don’t have to fight to be treated better. I am a female and us females are not treated equally, but that’s something I know and have lived through.
I will never fully understand what it’s like being apart of the LGBTQ community or being apart of another race. I did not choose to like men instead of other genders. I did not pick out the color of my skin before I was born. I didn’t choose to be a female and be put in a world where I am not treated equally compared to men. I don’t want to compare the racial, gender, or sexuality problems. I just want to acknowledge that they all exist.
People who are in the LGBTQ community did not choose to be apart of the community. They did not wake up one day and announce to the world that they want to be different, be treated like they don’t matter, have to fight just to get married, and so much more. They just choose who they are honest about themselves with and if they choose you to tell, you should feel honored. There is a lot more, more that I don’t understand, but I want to be here for them. I want to support people being proud of their identity because me liking men should not affect others. That is my business and it is not my job nor my professor’s business unless I choose to tell them, but no one should never have to worry about telling them and yet they do. I could shave all my hair off tomorrow and people would automatically assume that I’m gay, but maybe I just like my hair short. There are lots of stigmas and judgements made towards the LGBTQ community. I wouldn’t know where to start, but as a cis-gender heterosexual person I have questions. It’s hard having questions about topics that are so personal. I know that every person in the LGBTQ community is different, but I don’t know all the identities. I know it’s okay to not know everything, but when I don’t know something, and I know someone who has the answer I want to ask them. How do I ask someone a question about their identity or sexuality without being rude or too intrusive? I will never know everything about the LGBTQ community, but I would like to know what else I can do. What do people in the LGBTQ community want from others?
I have lots of questions about pretty much everything in this world because there is always something new to learn every day. Like, why people would choose to have a different favorite color than green because green is the best color out there. Obviously, I understand that there are other colors besides green and they all deserve love and it’s okay to have a different favorite color, but I will always love green the most. Everyone in my family has a different favorite color except for my future sister-in-law, but we like different shades of green. I hope it’s clear as to what I’m getting at. If it’s okay to have a different favorite color, why isn’t it okay to have a different skin color? Being a different skin color does not stop you from being any less of a person.
I never really thought about race throughout elementary school or middle school. Yes, it came up in classes and I hated hearing and learning about the awful dehumanizing history that has created the place I call home. I never understood the importance of learning history because what we learned in history never directly related to me. I didn’t want to think about what it would be like living in Germany during the Holocaust or growing up watching people that don’t look like me be treated worse than a pet. I hate the word “slave” and I hate learning about how awful America’s history is, but I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do with this information. I know there is still discrimination out there, but what am I supposed to do? I don’t witness it and if I do, it probably goes right over my head, because the color of my skin has never affected me in a negative way.
I used to be a cashier at a grocery store and a customer started speaking Spanish to me. I had no idea what she was saying it, but I could feel the warmth in her words. She was smiling and I could feel the instant connection that would have been if I could understand what she was saying. There weren’t any negative parts about that conversation. To me, it felt more like a compliment and it was no-where near an insult, but what do I know? We learn history and we learn about the awful fight people had to endeavor to have some of their own rights and not be owned by another person, but I have never learned what I can do as a person who has white privilege. Also, what exactly is white privilege? I have an idea of what it is, but it’s never been fully explained to me. How do I ask the right questions without insulting people? How do I get educated on a topic that is so morally wrong, but it’s something that needs to be taught? I have so many questions and I don’t know who to ask. There are also a variety of answers.
It scares me to ask questions on topics that people just assume I should know. I hated history class because it was always negative. I hate politics because it tears people apart. I know people who voted for Trump and I still call those people my friends because I don’t want to decide who I love based on politics. If I did that, I’d probably hate the world. People often assume I’m naïve, and I am with certain topics, but I am not naïve because I choose to look on the bright side of things. I love to be happy and to help others find a reason to smile, but when I learn about all of the awful facts that are written in history books, I want to slam the book shut. I don’t want to know what awful things were done. I want to know about the people that stood up and helped make a change. I want to learn what to do if I see something morally wrong happening. I want people to not get upset when a white person says something insulting to those of a different race. I want them to ask why they said those words that hurt because maybe they didn’t realize how powerful their words are. I want to be (nicely) corrected if I ever word things the wrong way. I cannot predict how my words or actions will affect you, but if they are wrong teach me how I can do better.