I have often told people that it is a poor decision to ever place me in a position of leadership, partially because I want to elicit a laugh but also because it’s somewhat true. I’m much more of a right-hand woman, close enough to the top of the totem pole to call the shots but never quite burdened with overseeing everything. The constant uneasiness I feel whenever I’m offered management positions could be a sign that I’m simply not destined to be a team leader or it’s a sign that I need to step out of my comfort zone. But how do you decide when you’ve reached your limits or need to stretch beyond them?
This year has been marked by an onslaught of new responsibilities. I am organizing and scheduling the media team at my church, acting as one of the go-to people in a few of my classes and social groups, and serving as the vice president and social media manager for Her Campus at Kutztown.
As a generally socially anxious person, being handed so many tasks that require lots of social interaction is daunting. There’s been more than one occasion where I’ve physically dreaded having to write yet another email asking someone to complete a task or actively avoided a situation knowing that I would immediately be engaged in conversation. Despite how uncomfortable I am initially, I almost always warm to the situation. In fact, I often find that my mood has improved and that I’m significantly more productive after completing that initial task. That’s how I know that I haven’t reached my limit yet, that I have only just begun to delve into my potential. It’s not my lack of ability that’s holding me back, it’s my fear of failure.
While I’ve been learning how to accept more responsibility, I’ve also been learning how to draw boundaries and say no to new opportunities. I’m generally an all-or-nothing type of person, and consistency and balance has always been a struggle for me. While I have accepted positions that improved my life socially, I haven’t sacrificed anything else in the process. This oversight has led to me juggling my five classes, part-time job, and all of the responsibilities listed above. With only so much time in a day, I’ve been forced to finish a lot of these projects well into the wee hours of the morning. As a chronic insomniac, I haven’t suffered from my busy schedule just yet, but such a lifestyle is hardly sustainable. I have to give something up. It’s a hard truth and one that many of us refuse to acknowledge until we’re on the brink of collapse. I’ll say it again for my chronic overachievers:
It is okay to say no to things. It is not an indicator of inadequacy to say no.
Balance is hard, especially when it seems like every task or event is a mandatory one. Discernment is key to understanding which opportunities will help you grow and which ones are okay to let fall by the wayside. Listen to your body and ask people you trust what they think of your situation. Be open and willing to change. Don’t feel like you have to have everything all together. I certainly don’t. But I’m trying. And sometimes that’s all that really matters.