At the beginning of my senior year of high school, I was ecstatic to receive my acceptance letter to Kutztown; it was the only school I truly wanted to attend. When one of my friends from high school also got accepted, we immediately planned to room together and even join the marching band.
However, about halfway through the school year, the reality of going to college started setting in, and I had no idea how to cope with it. I had never been away from home for more than a week, and now I was about to be thrown into an entirely new environment—essentially all on my own—while having to make all new friends, adjust to college life, and have an increased workload that was also much more difficult than high school. I didn’t know how to handle that much stress.
After graduation, my anxiety only increased. It got to the point where anytime someone would ask me the simple question, “Are you excited to go to college?”, I had to hold back tears until my throat burned, nodding my head with my lips tightly pursed into a pseudo smile.
My anxiety held me back from joining the marching band at Kutztown. Or any other organization, for that matter.
Despite all of that, I had fun my first semester here. I made friends, I was excelling academically, and my anxiety significantly subsided, but something felt off. I felt uninspired—stuck.
When I went home for winter break, I visited my old dance studio. As I walked down the narrow hallway and entered the room I’d danced in for fourteen years—seeing the surprised smiles on my former students’ faces as they noticed my presence—suddenly I was inspired. I felt like my regular self again.
That’s when I realized what was missing from my life at Kutztown.
Dance had always been an integral part of my life. However, I had let my anxiety get in the way of pursuing my passions at school out of fear of trying new things with new people.
On that day, I decided I wouldn’t let my newfound spark die out. When I returned to Kutztown after winter break, I attended an activity fair, attended the Performing Dance Portmanteau meeting that night, and haven’t looked back since.
At PDP’s spring showcase, a group of girls from my studio back home came to support me without my knowledge. I was overcome with emotion as I realized the people standing before me were the reason I developed such a love for dance. They were the ones who knew I was the best version of myself when I was dancing and the ones who pulled me out of that rut I was in just a semester prior.
I thank my old dance studio and everyone I encountered there for planting this seed of inspiration and passion inside of me that I will carry with me forever. Additionally, I am incredibly grateful for PDP for allowing me to continue pursuing this passion of mine and welcoming me into a new dance family.