One night you went to bed. It was probably just like any other night – you did all of the same things that you would normally do before going to bed. You woke up and expected your day to go on just like any other day. Never once did you expect to be where you are now. Every day forward will never be the same and the loss and tragedy that you’ve experienced is permanent.
I wish there was more that I could do for you other than saying I’m sorry. I wish there was more that I can say other than it will get better. I wish I could pick you up, rewind the tape and drop you back in your normal life not filled with tragedy and sorrow. From this day forward, your lives will forever be defined by a few seconds in time that shattered lives and devastated others. I don’t have words that will make anything sound okay. I don’t have anything I can do that will bring your loved ones back or take away the pain that you’ve experienced. I truly wish I could. Even years later, the pain doesn’t go away. There’s always something there to remind you of who they were or what you’ve seen. As every year passes, the news will remind you of what day it is and all the things that you’ve felt will resurface. The pain you feel now will fade, but never go away.
Take your pain and turn it into something beautiful. Every year on that day, do something special that the person you lost would’ve enjoyed or that helps you keep your mind off of the events that you replay every day. Create good memories to bury the bad ones. Plant a beautiful flower in burnt soil. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Go to counseling. Talk to other people. Express your feelings. Be honest with yourself and those around you. Nothing that you’ve experienced is part of the normal ins and outs and life, so take care of your brain just as you would take care of your body after an injury.
Many say that now isn’t the time to talk about guns and gun reform, but when is the right time? With every shooting “the right time” seems to move farther and farther into the distance. Another part of my apology is that I’m sorry that our country, and specifically our legislation, doesn’t value the lives of those that were lost and your life that has been changed forever. There are always so many factors that come into play during mass shootings. Was the person mentally ill? Did they have a history of mental or physical abuse? Why would they do something like this? What it boils down to is that they got a gun and used it to change your life forever. There are plenty of mentally ill individuals. People who have experiences abuse and who don’t always receive the proper treatment, but the difference lies in the ability to obtain a gun. I hope for all of our sakes that one day, we can find the value in the lives of those that we lost and the lives that were defined by a gun.