Dearest Masculinity,
We need to talk. Yes, now. You have a toxicity problem and it is paramount that we address it, because no other people of power are doing so and because you’ve haunted me for so long, I feel it pertinent to have this conversation.
This week, an incredibly strong woman of whom I look up to, posted on Twitter after yet another white man perpetrated another shooting in what feels like a matter of weeks. She was cognizant of an evident correlation between your toxicity and the growing number of reported shootings. She asserted that toxic masculinity is killing thousands upon thousands of people. I hoped this tweet would help to generate conversations between men and women concerning your suffocating influence over our society. Of course, at the same time, I feared her bravery would only breed trolls and naysayers. Sadly, we were right.
She was contacted by a news publication to clarify her views of toxic masculinity and upon publication of said article, the negativity outpoured like a wave. Her job, gender, safety, credibility as an educator, everything was under attack and what hurt me the most was what all of these responses meant: these people didn’t care to have a conversation, or change, they only sought to tear down the thing threatening their masculinity, their privilege. I was dumbfounded by some of the truly foul things being projected upon my professor and I was painfully aware of its effect upon her.
Once again, here was a concerned citizen trying to open a dialogue about a very serious issue in our society and yet again, the children brought up from your darkness worked in short order to shut her down. We need to address the pain and suffering that modern men face because they are taught not to do it themselves. Something threatens us, we destroy it. God forbid an emotion rears its ugly head, we destroy it. We need to start talking to one another, pinpointing the problems with masculine culture and finding ways to help men heal or at least work toward ushering a healthier behavior.
I bought into your lifestyle for so long. I thought I needed to be like all of the other guys. I felt like there was something horribly wrong with me because I cried when I felt sad or connected more with girls than other boys. I hated myself because I didn’t fit the definition of what masculine was and I hated myself further because I was being forced to fit into that definition. I wanted to die because I wasn’t enough in the eyes of toxic masculinity and you almost won— but there was no way in hell I would grant you that satisfaction.
I know now there is a purpose I must strive toward. I am here to help educate people about your toxicity and battle the hatred and fear you have fostered into our daily vernacular. I’ve met so many people, my professor included, who see the cracks in your facade. We know the fragility of your status and slowly but surely we are challenging the statues you helped put in place, the clowns you put in power. We will not stand around as your influence continues to harm innocent people and warp the brains of good men and boys.
“Toxic masculinity is killing everyone. REPEAT. Toxic masculinity is killing everyone. REPEAT. Toxic masculinity is killing everyone. REPEAT.”