Something that girls anticipate for a huge portion of their lives is the day they lose their virginity. Most girls fantasize about what this day will be like, and most of those fantasizes are filled with the perfect guy, a candlelit room, some cuddling and several utterances of “I love you.” For some girls, this is how the evening actually does play out. However, the majority of time, a night like this – at least the first time, is very impractical.
I’m not saying virginity isn’t something to be protective or proud of, because it definitely is. I waited way longer than all of my peers to “lose” mine, mainly because I didn’t feel comfortable making myself vulnerable in front of just anyone. I wanted it to be with someone who was nice to me, made me feel safe, and I got along with well. I was blinded by this same stigma that the first time you have sex, it should be magical. It’s just that I think the whole process is so glorified that when it comes time to actually go through with it, it’s less than stellar. Losing your virginity is nerve-wracking, awkward, and a little painful. I don’t regret the experience that I had in the least bit, but it was definitely not what I ever expected it to be when I was younger.
The way I pictured this experience to play out for me was probably how most girls imagined it. I guess when I was younger, I actually thought that all guys were romantic thinking they’d be willing to put time and effort into a situation like this. Granted, there are some dudes out there who really know how to flip the switch to “maximum romance,” but the majority of ones I have encountered can’t even spell the word correctly.
The experience I had wasn’t awful, but it was most definitely awkward, short, and left me feeling unchanged. The best way that I can describe the way you feel after losing your virginity is “the same as you did the day before.” Yeah, the fact that you had sex floods your mind a little bit, but your body feels no different. I think that the best analogy to compare it to is aging up on your birthday. You know that it’s your birthday and you’re now a year older, but you don’t actually feel older. You just say that you are. This is what losing your virginity is like, at least in my opinion.
In order to prove my point, I asked a friend about her “first time” experience. This is what she told me:
“I remember we were in his room. He asked if I wanted to, and I said sure. It lasted about five minutes. I didn’t feel any different when it was over. Afterwards, all we did was watch TV and play on our phones. I remember thinking it would be a great, magical experience. In reality, losing your virginity is nothing spectacular at all.”
Again, I do believe that holding your virginity close until you’re ready to have sex is important. As previously stated, I even waited around for someone I felt comfortable with, and I knew wouldn’t judge me. All of that is great, but I just feel like it should be recognized that the magical scene we know from movies very rarely happens in real life. If you are waiting for the perfect moment, just prepare yourself that even if you are with the most perfect person, the moment may not be what you expect it to be. However, that doesn’t make the milestone any less significant.