I suck at math.
I always have, and I always will.
I am taking an online math course called women in mathematics, and I really enjoy the history and women’s aspect to the class, however I still cannot find a love for math. I have never been good at math, like ever. I started to notice my struggles in the third grade. My family and I were going through a rough time, and as I started to fall behind in math due to family problems, no teacher stopped to help me. I was completely lost in an abyss of times tables, telling time, rounding, long division, fractions, etc.
I started to go to tutoring later in the year in third grade, and from then on out up until my senior year of high school, I did math tutoring several times a week. In high school I got very lucky with two math teachers. They both kind of took me under their wing and noticed how hard I tried and how I continued to just fall on my face. Each one of them individually worked with me and understood my anxiety I had with math. They also each reinforced in my head that I was not stupid, and that I had other strengths, strengths they did not have. They always reassured me that not understanding math did not make me any less intelligent than the person getting an A on every math assignment.
When I got a D on my report card in 11th grade for geometry, myself and my two beloved math teachers were literally cheering. For me, this was an accomplishment in math and I worked hours and hours for that grade. My parents were always there to tell me as long as I tried my best they would be proud of me, and they too were proud of my D.
Math has always made me feel really stupid, and I hate that. I hate it has that power over me. I constantly have to take a step back and remind myself I have other strengths. Not being great in one subject does not define your intelligence, everyone has strengths and weaknesses and that is balance. If we all were great at the same things life would be boring.