Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust

I don’t believe in God. In all honesty, I don’t know what I believe in. I grew up going to a Methodist church. If I remember correctly, my church closed around the time I started 7th grade. Going to church, I was able to hear stories about God, and I was able to play games during Sunday School. I had a church family. I may not be able to tell you everyone’s names, but I could point out their faces in a crowd. I hated waking up on Sunday mornings to go, but once I was there, I loved it. Everyone knew my parents and my parents, knew everyone. It was this huge big family that came together once a week. Sometimes everyone wasn’t there, and sometimes I wasn’t there, but every time I went, I learned a little bit on what faith is for some people. I had role models. There was a grandpa who had two granddaughters around my sister’s and my age. He always had this bright smile on his face, and he would give me a root beer candy every time I saw him, even if it was outside of church. He was married too, and whenever he saw his wife, you could see the love he had for her grew with every glance. I love seeing people who practice religion because they always have this twinkle in their eye. They know there is something more out there, and their faith is the story of what and who is out there. I may not believe in God, but I believe that for people who have this faith, their God is real. Those who found a religion that they believe in, I am so happy for. I sadly need to add, but I simply ask you not to pressure me or look down at me for not following the same religious path as you. Now, I know so many wonderful people out there who have faith in God, a god, gods, and goddesses. I call a lot of those people family and friends. Religion is sometimes like politics. No one ever agrees on the topic, and it gets frustrating because there is not distinct right or wrong that all of humanity can agree on. I personally am not asking for an agreement of the right religion. I am asking not to hold your faith higher than mine. I ask that if you respect me, then respect my choice in my faith.

Now you may start to wonder, how could I respect your choice of not knowing what you believe in and doing nothing about it? Shouldn’t I find a religion that I believe in? I said I have faith, but what in the world do I have faith in if it’s not a god? I have faith in my life and in everyone’s life. I believe in mistakes, choices, a future, and this world. I believe in the magic of a smile. That twinkle I mentioned about hearing stories from the right people. Those right people are like hearing stories from a kid about how they learned to tie their shoes. That twinkle that you see from a kid when they talk about Santa or fairies, that twinkle is what I believe in. To this day, I still say Santa exists because he exists in me and every parent who creates that magical twinkle for their kids. That twinkle comes from a surprise visit from friends and family. That twinkle is happiness. I think there is some sort of after-life. Maybe I will find a heaven or a hell. Maybe I’ll meet gods and goddesses or meet my grandparents and see my loved ones that I have lost in my life, but I’m not there yet. I’m 21 years old. I’m going to live ‘til I die, and whatever happens after that, I’ll figure out when I get there. Until then, I am just going to enjoy the twinkle moments of my life.