Today, I experienced something that I really could not even believe was happening. My friend and I ended up in a heated debate, with her boyfriend, about political views of sorts. This is not the first time this has happened to us, and I’m sure it has happened more to her. It began happening frequently, and we just never understood why our views and opinions mattered so much to him. I suppose that he wishes that he and his girlfriend could share similar opinions on some subjects, but it shouldn’t be that hard to agree to disagree, when the arguments always head south. After she mentioned to him that her views shouldn’t be something that he attacks her for, and she doesn’t want to discuss topics alike, he agreed. Well I think today, he forgot about his agreement that he made less than a week ago.
We got into a topic during conversation in which he clearly disagreed with us, and instead of just letting it go, he made his opinions well known. I’m not saying that he can’t have opinions but after having your girlfriend express to you that these types of conversations are going to ruin the relationship, you should probably keep that in mind before screaming at her because you simply disagree.
At no time did we say he was wrong, and we never attacked him for his ideas. We only tried to explain ours. We knew that we’d disagree and just wanted to end the argument, once again. But because he didn’t like our views, he was belittling and essentially degrading us. Our opinions were “disgusting” and he couldn’t believe that we would think such things. After trying to end the conversation multiple times, he insisted on still ranting about what idiots we were.
I don’t know about anyone else but I can’t imagine being with someone and saying the things that he was to them. My friend is apparently “incapable of forming her own opinions” and “uneducated.” Who wants to be in a relationship and be put down all of the time? The things coming out of his mouth, only because he disagreed, were uncalled for and I would certainly classify this type of constant ridicule and criticism as emotional abuse. To basically make someone feel less or inferior solely because you have some clashing opinions.
I wouldn’t want to be made to feel that way by my significant other, and I know my friend doesn’t want to either. These types of comments and behaviors from a partner aren’t beneficial, or healthy, to the well-being of my friend or their relationship.
Sometimes, you need to just keep your mouth shut.