Heart racing
Like erratic beating of the drums
Out of sync, out of control
A familiar rhythm in my life
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The metallic taste in my mouth
The taste of invisible blood
I can’t spit it out, no matter how much I try
The flavor of iron remains
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My stomach churns
I try to keep my food down
The nausea takes over, I vomit into the sink
I don’t stop till it’s emptied
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I sweat uncontrollably
The feeling of sweat you get when you’re ill
I shower repeatedly, trying in vain to cool down
Repeatedly, it fails
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My mind is racing at lightning speed
My paranoia out of control
I lie in bed, hoping for it to end
Hoping for some peace
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There is no comfort from it
There is no escape from it
The ever-present, familiar anxiety
Anxiety, it always wins
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