I have been a chocolate addict all my life. Never once have I gone a day without chocolate. Even when I was little, I never minded the taste of rich dark chocolate. You could definitely call me a chocolate fanatic.
Since I am so passionate about it, you could imagine how many different kinds of chocolate I consume. You’re probably thinking that my teeth are rotting out of my skull due to all the sugar I’m eating. This is not true; even though I do love chocolate, I can control myself. This is not like that one episode of Wizards of Waverly Place where Alex rolls in melted chocolate and shoves cake into her mouth (although I have always dreamed of doing that). I am a pretty healthy person and I’m still looking for the best chocolate and the healthiest.
Recently I came across a little gem hidden in the long aisles of Sprouts Market. Chocolate Hummus. My friend Maddie, who I was shopping with at the time, told me it was delicious and I should try it. I was like heck yeah! We both bought two different brands so we could try each other. The one I bought was called Cedar’s Dark Chocolate Hummus, and Maddie’s was called Hope Dark Chocolate Coconut. When we got home, we immediately whipped both of them out and took a spoonful. I tried mine first.
Okay, I would like to point out that out of all the chocolate inventions ever created, brownies are my favorite — specifically brownie batter. So try and picture my reaction when I discovered that something that was only 80 CALORIES AND 6 GRAMS OF SUGAR FOR TWO TABLESPOONS… tasted like brownie batter. I am telling you now I will picture this hummus on my deathbed. Maddie’s hummus was also amazeballs, but I’m not a big fan of coconut. It’s also a little richer for all you dark chocolate haters out there.
Now I’m going to stop here because this is not a review, this is a public service announcement. I am only here to tell you that YOU NEED THIS IN YOUR LIFE.
Picture this. Spring break is coming up, and you need to lose a few pounds for that perfect beach pic (but in reality you don’t because you are perfect no matter what), and uh-oh you are starting to get that late-night cocoa craving! Who cares! Because you have chocolate hummus in your fridge- one spoonful of that and that craving is gone.
New scenario: It’s shark week, and your cramps hurt so bad that you’re about to rip someone’s head off, but all is well once you pull out that delicious tub of dark creamy goodness and some beautiful strawberries. All the pain melts away.
NEW SCENARIO: Your boyfriend dumped you for some stupid reason which makes no sense because you are an amazing, beautiful, intelligent angel who doesn’t even need a boy in the first place! Nonetheless, your heart still hurts something awful. You want to dive for that tub of that super extra chocolate ice cream, but you don’t want to lose all that hard work you put in at the gym. No need to fear, chocolate hummus is there. Even a whole tub of that thing won’t make any difference. You can eat the entire thing and cry your eyes out, and you’ll still be lookin good as hell.
Now I hope that I have convinced you to try my new craze because I can say I am obsessed with this stuff, as you can see from this giant ass article I just wrote. You also probably think I’m crazy right about now, but in the great words of Willy Wonka, “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”
Disclamer: Willy Wonka is fictional character created by Roald Dahl. Please don’t sue me.