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Why Is A Virgin Bachelor Seen As A Problem In Today’s Society?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KU chapter.

If you have even loosely followed this season of ABC’s The Bachelor, then you probably know that Colton Underwood, this year’s handsome and athletic bachelor, is a virgin. He opened up about this personal information on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette about a year ago, and since then the audience has been in an absolute frenzy about it. For those of you who don’t follow the show, the only reason he brought this “issue” to Becca’s attention was because they were about to undergo the infamous “Fantasy Suite,” a private room in which the couple would spend the entire night to themselves without any cameras or distractions. Since the show makes it a norm that the two people have sex during this night, Colton was nervous about his lack of experience and decided to bring it to Chris Harrison and Becca’s attention… which also means that he brought it to the attention of approximately eight million viewers.

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Since then, Colton has appeared on Bachelor in Paradise, and is now this season’s Bachelor. I myself was excited when Colton was announced as the Bachelor, for he seemed like a super sweet and sensitive guy (not to mention he’s hot af). However, as soon as the season started, I started to become annoyed, and even angry, with the fact that all anyone could talk about was how he was a virgin. We all know the phrase “slut-shaming,” and for those of you who have experienced it, it is NOT an easy thing to go through by any means. Well, something in society has shifted, because now it’s not okay to be a virgin either.

The minute the cameras started rolling for this season, Colton faced contestant after contestant virgin-shaming him. Yep, you heard me. Virgin-shaming. Whether it was making jokes about “popping his cherry,” or giving him a playing card with a “V” on it, his virginity seemed to be the punchline of the entire show. According to Vox Media, the word “virgin” was used four times in the first 40 seconds of this season’s premiere. I follow the show, and we are a long ways away from the first episode by now, but people are STILL talking about it. When asked if Colton Underwood would still be a virgin by the end of the season, Chris Harrison, the show’s host of 17 years, reportedly replied with “Not if I do my job right.”

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There are so many reasons why this is just wrong. First of all, losing your virginity is a personal choice. Other people should not be able to openly talk about, and especially poke fun at, another’s personal choices in life. On the show, Colton stated that he is not necessarily waiting for marriage, but waiting for the right person. I believe that this is a very chivalrous decision of him—one that we should all respect.

Luckily, Colton has been able to take this mockery with a grain of salt. Never once has he gotten upset on camera because of these jokes. He doesn’t really understand what the big deal is, and neither do I! Colton took his feelings about this uproar to twitter.

At the end of the day, the decision of when and how to lose your virginity is a personal decision that nobody should be able to judge you for, even if you’re the Bachelor.


Hi there! I'm currently a Junior studying Strategic Communications in the Journalism school here at the University of Kansas. I hope you enjoy reading anything and everything I have to say!