Yes. You read that correctly. I take my friends to sex stores. Not for any inappropriate reasons and I would never peer pressure them into going, but because I think it serves as a place of empowerment.
Since the beginning of society (essentially), women have been stigmitized for enjoying sex. In the 19th century, men and women couldn’t even be alone in a room together without a chaperone. In addition, it was socially acceptable for men to have sex with whomever they pleased, but if a women even looked at a man the wrong way they were deemed slutty and beneath society.
Flash forward to today, some of these social rules are still prominent today. When men have sex with women, they’re ballers and praised for adding a tally to their roster. When women have sex with men, they’re slutty whores who like attention.
In addition to that, societal guilt riddles through many women. I can’t even begin to explain how many women I know who are afraid of participating in sexual activity because of what it will do to their reputation. Beyond that, many people I know grew up in a very religious household who were scoulded with “(premarital) sex is bad and you’ll go to hell if you have it.” While for many people it’s important to follow their religion, it can cause a lot of internal battles and guilt for some.
In order to combat some of those emotions head on and to help them feel more empowered, I’ll take them to a sex store. There are a couple reasons I think this helps open people’s minds up to sexuality and sexual activities:
- Sex store employees are chill
Every sex store I’ve ever entered has had the nicest people I’ve ever met. They are so helpful, understanding and judge-free. When I bring my friends they’re always so nervous (and justifiably so, I was riddled with anxiety the first time I went in), but when the sales associate begins talking to you about how a 90-year-old woman at the nursing home came to buy a certain vibrator because all the ladies were raving about it and she paid in cash so her children wouldn’t see it on her account, it quickly becomes clear how chill the atmosphere is.
- There’re interesting things to look at
Sex stores have so many interesting items. From bachelorette party favors, exotic dancer clothes, sex toys, lube, condoms, BDSM equipment, and so much more my friends are always in awe of everything the store has to offer. There’s so much stuff everywhere that it doesn’t matter what you’re looking at, because the other customer right next to you could be looking at the same thing.
- You might learn something new
This is one of the most important parts of my reasoning: learning about something new is vital to this experience. Whether they learn about different types of sex toys, how open people can be about sex, that it’s okay to be a sexual human, or begin a journey of self discovery, there are so many positives than can come from going to a sex store. (Hopefully not a positive STI test, however.)
Overall, helping people learn that sex isn’t shameful is so important. Humans have sex and it’s okay to talk about it. By starting this conversation, people can begin to understand that sex shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Also, if it brings my friends a little bit of pleasure, then I’m glad I could help them find it one way or another.