Like it or not, Hallmark’s Christmas movies are a classic part of the season. This year, Hallmark is even paying Christmas movies for 24 hours a day, making it even easier to binge hours of romance movies that are, at their heart, all more or less the same. Even though they’re predictable, cheesy and generally simple, I find myself watching Hallmark’s Christmas romances every year. Even if people won’t admit it, Hallmark keeps releasing these movies because there’s a demand for them. Sure, they’re the worst, but they’re also the absolute best. Here’s why.
Why Hallmark Movies are the Worst
The Plot
Let’s face it, Hallmark movies are all basically the same. Girl meets boy, one of them doesn’t feel the “magic of Christmas” and through a series of romantic moments that take place the week before the holiday, they suddenly discover what Christmas is all about. Oh, and they fall in love. Of course. I’ve watched an embarassing amount of Hallmark Christmas movies and I’ve noticed an even more specific trend emerging from the newer films. A woman works for a big company and wants to be a part of the corporate world, but after either a.) returning to her small hometown that somehow is a picturesque Christmas wonderland or b.) becoming stranded in said Christmas wonderland, she meets a smalltown man that reminds her about the importance of friends and family. At the end of the movie, she chooses to leave behind a promising career for a Christmas town and a guy in either a leather jacket or a plaid scarf. The above GIF says it all.
The Misunderstandings
Look, I get that Hallmark movies are basically built on misunderstandings. They serve as the closest thing to a conflict most of these movies get. But why is everyone always rushing off without giving the other person a chance to speak? I’ve seen this countless times, and honestly, it’s more annoying than anything else. We all know there’s going to be some big declaration of love, so acting like the main character’s relationship is suddenly over is tedious to watch. Hallmark, I’m begging you to let these characters have thirty seconds of open dialogue and resolve their conflicts quickly.
The “Instant Love”
I bet these two met each other three days ago and have now committed to being in love forever in their small town. “Instant love” is more prevalent in Hallmark movies than anywhere else. It’s like it erases anything else. One of them has a fiance? Well, that fiance hates Christmas and only cares about their career. What an easy engagement to break. One of them has a job they love in the city? Don’t worry, it’ll be revealed twenty minutes before the end of the movie that they were never really happy in the job they’ve worked years to get and they’re sure living in the middle of nowhere with no reasonable job opportunities will make them happy. At this point, I’m pretty sure instant love is the strongest force in the world, at least according to Hallmark movies.
Why Hallmark Movies are the Best
The Setting
How does Hallmark have the money for these sets? Just look at this scene. This is one of their more standard movies, not one where royalty is involved (and trust me, there are plenty of those, too), and the scene is just gorgeous. Tell me one small town that actually looks like this. Seriously, let me know where this is. I would visit. I can overlook a lot of missteps in Hallmark movies when there’s scenery like this.
The Sweet Moments
Are these kinds of scenes cheesy? Yes. Is the acting incredible? No. Do I care? Absolutely not. Part of what makes a Hallmark movie what it is are the sweet moments in it that bring everything together. Of course we all know that the two main characters are going to admit their feelings for each other by the end of the movie, but the little moments that are perfect and conflict-free make that even sweeter. These exist in every Hallmark movie known to mankind, and it’s part of their big appeal. Tell me you wouldn’t want to stumble off of a ladder into some guy’s arms at Christmastime. Cute, right? The actors, their abilities, plotholes and everything else can be forgotten when two characters are put in cute situations.
The Ending
I know, I know, I just complained about how predictable Hallmark movies are, but that also adds to their charm. You know that the show will end happily every single time and there’s something nice in knowing that. No matter what else happens in a Hallmark movie, you can be sure that it will end with at least one happy couple, and probably snow. There’s a comfort in that simplicity. Sometimes we all need to sit down and watch a movie that is so mindlessly sweet that we can be sure it will end with everyone happy.
No Hallmark movie is going to win an Academy Award anytime soon, but they’re sweet and so utterly saturated in Christmas romance that I can’t help but watch them. Sure, strong plots, complex characters and deep themes are great, but sometimes all you want is to turn your brain off for a while and watch a movie that’s simple and festive for the season. There’s nothing wrong with that. Hallmark movies show a place where everything is perfect and where the characters will end up together happily, most likely while it’s snowing. Hallmark movies represent the Christmas spirit that so many people are looking for, and if watching them makes you happy, then I say watch as many as you can. If I know one thing about Hallmark movies, it’s that I’ll be continuing my annual marathon of them straight to Christmas.