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Why Do Girls Love To Listen To Sad Music?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KU chapter.

Every girl has that musician that just gets them. Some like the dreaminess of Lana Del Rey’s imagery. Others like Olivia Rodrigo’s teenage nightmare. Some like Taylor Swift’s specificity. Others like Adele’s larger-than-life voice. The internet even made a whole musical season for sad girls, coining it “Sad Girl Autumn,” which Taylor Swift and Adele dominated in 2021 with Red (Taylor’s Version) and 30. Taylor even came out with a version of her autumn heartbreak masterpiece “All Too Well (Ten Minute Version)” called the “Sad Girl Autumn Version.” Whoever your favorite Sad Girl artist is, it begs the question, do girls just like sad music, or is there a deeper meaning behind it?

Society puts a lot of pressure on women. We have to be happy, optimistic, nurturing and kind all the time. We can’t ever be upset, pessimistic, assertive and outspoken. We are emotional, but we are expected to keep it all inside. And we can’t make a mistake either. Have to be perfect, while living up to these impossible, unrealistic and frankly sexist expectations. Not to mention, we have to be all of this while on our periods and carrying children.

Taylor Swift wearing floral dress at 2021 Grammy Awards Red Carpet
Photo by Francis Specker / CBS

Sad Girl Music is our outlet for all that turmoil that society doesn’t let us talk about. Luckily, society is beginning to become more outspoken and give “shocking” peeks behind the curtain. Women are angry when they are betrayed. We internalize when someone cuts us off with no explanation. We have a dreamy expectation of what romance could be like and then the gritty reality of what it is. Sad Girl Music translates that through poetry and imagery.

The Sad Girl trend can be traced all the way back to the 90s. Emotionally-rooted grunge music was very popular, and as an explanation, women have plenty to be angry about. The angsty female-fronted rock band Garbage sang songs about female rage and often used tongue-in-cheek lyrics to get their points across. Their songs “Only Happy When It Rains” and “Stupid Girl” were empowered female anthems that had the angst to match. Fiona Apple’s hits “Criminal” and Paper Bag” had the same doubtful feelings that plenty of women can relate to. Alanis Morissette became the voice of a generation with her iconic album Jagged Little Pill. Hits like “Head Over Feet,” “You Oughta Know,” “Hand In My Pocket,” “You Learn” and “Ironic” perfectly encapsulated the complex emotions of a young woman coming to be. From falling in love to anger after a breakup to reluctant education to hilarious storylines. They even created a whole Sad Girl music festival called Lilith Fair.

Sad Girl icon Adele rose to fame in the 2000s. With emotional ballads like “Chasing Pavements” and “Make You Feel My Love,” Sad Girls everywhere were screaming Adele’s powerful lyrics at the top of their lungs. Both songs were also covered with equally emotional performances on the 2000s hit Glee. Adele continued that Sad Girl ballad trend throughout the 2000s and 2010s with her album 21 which featured hits like “Rolling In The Deep,” “Someone Like You” and “Rumor Has It,” and 25 with songs like the always memeable “Hello” and “When We Were Young.”

Paramore and Avril Lavigne brought female angst back in the 2000s. Paramore was sort of Garbage’s counterpart with Hayley Williams fronting a male band with angsty feminine songs like “Misery Business” and “The Only Exception.” While Avril Lavigne gave women the right to be angry about everything from friendships to boys with her album Let Go featuring classics like “I’m With You,” “Sk8r Girl” and “Complicated,” which was covered by indie-pop Sad Girl Olivia O’Brien, known for songs sad songs like “Empty” and “Hate U Love U.” Avril continued this with future albums Head Above Water, Under My Skin, The Best Damn Thing and her self-titled album with songs like “Head Above Water,” “My Happy Ending,” “Keep Holding On” and “Here’s To Never Growing Up.”

Taylor Swift has been a Sad Girl icon since her early hits “Tim McGraw” and “Teardrops On My Guitar.” She has cemented this status on her poetic lyrics on songs like “White Horse,” “Fifteen,” “Back To December,” “Enchanted,” “Never Grow Up” and “Ours.” It wasn’t until her album Red when Taylor released Sad Girl masterpiece “All Too Well,” which has become a break up anthem for Swifties everywhere. Red was filled with other Sad Girl songs like woodsy “Sad Beautiful Tragic,” the birthday-party-set “The Moment I Knew,” and imaginative “I Almost Do.” Taylor hasn’t stopped there. Almost every album she comes out with features one or more Sad Girl tunes. 1989 had “Wildest Dreams” and “Clean.” The heart-wrenching song ”New Year’s Day” was featured on her most badass album yet, Reputation. “The Man” on Lover is one of Taylor’s most cathartic songs for women everywhere who have been beaten down by the patriarchy. Folklore and Evermore have too many Sad Girl anthems to name. With her re-recordings, Taylor has even revisited her past Sad Girl eras and gave us new Sad Girl music she calls “Vault Tracks,” from “You All Over Me” on Fearless (Taylor’s Version) and “Better Man” Red (Taylor’s Version).

Lana Del Rey ruled the 2010s with her Sad Girl lyrics. Each song is filled with enough cinematic imagery to fill a picture book. Huge during the Tumblr age, Lana struck a chord with her beautiful quotes and aesthetics. She makes references to the 50s and 60s in her lyrics that make her music feel like a time machine. Her Born To Die album feature hits like “National Anthem,” “Summertime Sadness” and “Video Games” that made people fall in love with her breathy, transcendent voice. Her EP Paradise features her song “Ride.” Both Born To Die’s “Video Games” and Paradise’s “Ride” were used in teen dramas Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars in very Sad Girl, emotional scenes. Her album Ultraviolence featured songs like “Old Money” and “Brooklyn Baby” which drew inspiration from the romantic gloom of New York and songs like “West Coast” which drew inspiration from Lana’s comfortable California. 2019’s Norman Fucking Rockwell! album was by far her biggest album yet, being nominated for Album and Song of the Year at the Grammys.

Lorde became one of the most lyrically dramatic Sad Girls with her album Pure Heroine in 2013. The album featured hits like “Royals” and “Tennis Court.” Her album Melodrama featured the Sad Girl anthem “Liability,” which was also featured in an equally Sad Girl scene on one of Euphoria’s special episodes. 

Billie Eilish became a certifiable Sad Girl when her hits “Ocean Eyes” and “Six Feet Under” gained mainstream success and been featured in the shows The Vampire Diaries, The Originals and Pretty Little Liars. She continued this with her album When We Fall Asleep, Were Do We Go? With hits like “When The Party’s Over.” Her 2021 hit “Happier Than Ever” brought back that 90s angst to Sad Girl pop.

The 2020s continued the Sad Girl music trend with the introduction of Phoebe Bridgers and her album Stranger In The Alps and more recently with her album Punisher. She even provided the background vocals on Lorde’s album Solar Power and sang a debut on one of Red (Taylor’s Verison) Vault Tracks “Nothing New.

One thing many Sad Girls have in common is their collaborator Jack Antonoff. Jack has worked with Taylor Swift, Phoebe Bridgers, Lorde and Lana Del Rey. Mitski is another indie Sad Girl that is gaining more attention. Mitski’s album Puberty 2 featured some of her best hits like “Your Best American Girl” and “Fireworks.”

Olivia Rodrigo has brought the 90s angst to the 2020s with an instant classic, Sad Girl album Sour. Her beautifully therapeutic lyrics and stunning imagery made people fall in love with her songwriting from her first single “Driver’s License.” However, ballads like “Happier,” “1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back” and Traitor” aren’t the only kinds of songs this new artist can write. Her angry girl anthem “Good 4 U” is relatable for women everywhere whether they have had a crappy experience with a significant other or just a terribly toxic roommate. “Jealousy, Jealousy” and “Deja Vu” were alternative hits with creative Sad Girl concepts about social media envy and dating.

Women have a lot to be sad about. From the ridiculous price points of feminine hygiene products to men treating us like nothing, we have plenty to be upset about. This music translates that into a creative outlet. It translates the angst, despair, pain and heartbreak into something beautiful, relatable and meaningful. Something to dance to and enjoy, rather than despise and avoid. 

Hello! My name is Sami Gotskind! I'm from Chicago and graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in Acting and Journalism. I also working on getting a certificate in Fashion Styling from the Fashion Institute of Technology. I was a writer for Her Campus KU from 2020 to 2022 and for Her Campus Nationals since 2021. I was also the Writing Director for Her Campus KU in 2022. I love film, TV, fashion, pop culture, history, music, and feminism. My friends describe me as an old soul, an avid Euphoria fan, a fashion icon, a Swiftie, an Audrey Hepburn-Blair Waldorf fanatic, a future New Yorker, and a Gossip Girl historian. Look out for me on your TV screens in the near future! Thank you for reading my articles!