Spring break is right around the corner, and I am so excited to get out of cold Kansas and into sunny Florida. I really hate cold weather, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for the temperature to be above 30 degrees. We’ve been planning this spring break trip for a couple months now, and the first thing I knew I needed were swimsuits. I’m obsessed with cute bikinis and I’ve been working out and eating healthy (ok, I’ve been trying) since the beginning of the year to look extra cute on the beach. As motivation, I bought a bunch of cute suits from Amazon, because I’m also poor.
I quickly discovered that I have major beef with swimsuit companies. Not just because all of their models were ridiculously skinny or because they photoshop the pictures, but because all of my bottoms were straight thongs. I even sized up to avoid this problem, but no. Straight up my ass.
Look, I’m all for revealing swimsuits and being confident and feeling yourself, and I’ve had my fair share of cheeky bottoms, but I’m still working on my summer bod and I’m not quite there yet. My theme for spring break is tasteful hoe, and none of these bottoms really convey that. I just want a little coverage. Sexy, but still comfortable, ya know?
I decided to look a little more on Amazon to see if there was anything that was more covered but still cute. Zero, zilch, nada. Even ones that looked like they might be, the pictures in the reviews proved that they are, in fact, thongs too.
Because spring break is only a few days away and I’m $20,000 in debt, I won’t be buying new swimsuits, so I hope all of Florida is prepared to see my fully exposed ass.