Many months ago, I compiled a list of books that were recommended by various creators on Tik Tok, or books with encouraging messages. It has sat in my notes since I made it, with me hardly making a dent of progress. The book starts with fiction stories of various genres, and then it goes into more serious memoirs and nonfiction stories that result in provoking uncensored thought. I try to alternate between the two â to keep balance. I decided this semester I was going to read more, rather than doomscroll, and after I started this series with a serious book, I decided I would read The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo. I heard that this was an âepic love storyâ that is fiction but would leave the reader captivated in thought. I was excited! I usually donât reach for romance books, but I am a rom-com girl until I die, so I figured it couldnât hurt!
To begin, I will say that this book is INCREDIBLY engrossing. This story explored themes of love, what it means to completely feel loved, and how it feels to completely love others, and lost, how our choices are all a fork in the road, and how to live (or not live) with the choices we pick. I read it in 5 hours, over the span of two days, and I truly didnât want to put it down. It always felt like something more would happen â I hoped something more would happen. The story is written from Lucyâs perspective, as a long letter or story to Gabe, a man she fell in love with at college. In theory, the idea seems cute!
Except then it got annoying. I understand the idea of being hung up on a relationship, but she didnât confront her feelings ever. She married another man and had multiple babies, while keeping continuous tabs on Gabe. She kept in contact with him throughout the years following their breakup, while promising her husband she wouldnât.
I feel like Lucy and Gabeâs relationship didnât show love. I feel like it more so showed infatuation with each other, but not as people, just the physical beings they controlled. Santopolo didnât show how deep their love was, only said it multiple times. There were aspects that felt cute, but cute in the sense of how a middle school boyfriend plans a date for his girlfriend. In the same sentence, however, I feel like showing the emotional aspect of their love, rather than physical, couldâve transformed this book into a love story.
I also feel like Lucy could be an unreliable narrator. I feel like she didnât give anyone a full chance after she and Gabe broke up by diluting everything else she experienced. I was irritated because she could hardly look past her husbandâs flaws, and constantly compared the feeling that Darren was currently giving her to the feelings that Gabe previously gave her but did absolutely nothing productive to help it.
Without giving too many spoilers, I felt like the ending was rushed – there are too many untied knots, and not in a thought-provoking way. The entire book I was hoping Lucy would mature more, confront her emotions, just do something, but she never did. I feel like there was very little character growth from any of the characters in the book, even though it follows their lives throughout their adulthood. I donât think this book had the same effect on me as other readers, but it was also my first love story. I feel like it has potential to be great, and maybe the unsolved plot points are resolved in the book following this one, but I am unable to get myself to care enough to read it.
Overall, I feel disappointed with how the book ended. I wish there couldâve been a happy ending or at least a lesson learned by someone, but I just feel irritated. I do not regret reading it, because I did enjoy the authorâs writing style and how clearly Santopolo portrayed emotions. I was never confused about how Lucy felt because Santopolo portrayed every ounce of pride, shame, love, and loss so clearly. I feel like that was done really well. Santopolo was able to explain how the characters felt in such detail, sometimes I forgot this is a fictional book, and not a non-fiction story.
This would be a good book to discuss because I feel like there are so many perspectives that could be had following the book; I donât think I would jump to buy a physical copy, but I wouldnât be opposed to rereading with a group of friends!