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The Insecure Desperation of Love is Blind Makes Me Uncomfortable

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

It’s uncomfortable when I turn my brain on to think, but if I watch with my brain off and a glass of wine, the show is genius. I just finished the new season’s first episode, and I knew I had to write about my first impressions. 

I cannot take Love is Blind too seriously because the courtship has the same time frame as a Victorian-age couple. However, my favorite part of this show has got to be how desperate the contestants are to find love. 

I know it sounds messed up but hear me out. 

The contestants on these shows are highly pressed to find love. So pressed that I wish some of them went to therapy instead of this show for answers first. More importantly, they are looking for unconditional love from strangers, and people are still strangers to them even when they leave the ponds. Love is Blind is painful to watch because the contestants are of the societal “marrying age” and feel that the pods are their last chance to settle down. 

The most jarring recurring comment was people have come to Love is Blind to find themselves and figure out who they are, and I’m genuinely confused by that. Since when did this show become MTV’s The Real World? I think this lies into the massive insecurities many of these people have since they feel incomplete without having a romantic partner. Having companionship is a normal part of the life process. Wanting to have companionship or find love does not make you a pick me or a simp. There isn’t a timeline for when you completely understand yourself as a human being, but using a dating show, especially where you are banking on romantic love, as the answer to the void in your life is unhealthy. 

One woman, Mallory, stated that she felt that in a seven-minute conversation, she thought she was getting to know these men better than men she’s dated for two months in the real world. The pod environment allows people to ask questions that they would otherwise feel uncomfortable asking. That is mind-blowing because how are older people afraid of asking those questions? Whenever I used to roam on the hellscape that is Tinder, I would have no issue asking the people I met on the app questions about beliefs, values, hobbies, etc. 

Love is Blind takes the concept that personal attraction is more important than physical attraction. For example, one of my favorite moments in the first episode of Season 2 is when you can physically see Shania work out the math in her head for justifying how someone can go from a five physically to seven just because of emotional attraction. How they should be lower on the scale so that other women aren’t fighting over him because he’s not a 10. 

However, people forget that physical and emotional attraction are intertwined. 

For me, I’ve always weighed personal and physical as a 65/35 balance. It matters because looks are (unfortunately or fortunately, however way you think it) a significant component of who we are as individuals. You cannot fully understand a book by the cover, but the synopsis on the back gives a pretty good idea of what you’ll be getting into. One of my favorites, Natalie, mentions that she was turned off by a guy she went on a date with because of his dressing style. She thought it was silly, but I understood where she was coming from as she felt his style clashed with hers.

Love is Blind pushes on the depth of the pod conversation as a big part of the process. However, how can you genuinely get to know someone and focus on someone when you are meeting multiple people while being purposely isolated with your thoughts on these people? When your interactions are limited and the outside factors of the natural world are irrelevant, of course, certain people feel more appealing than they are. 

Since I’m on the outside looking in, it’s easy for me to see a lot of these people’s issues in why they cannot find their life partner. There is a constant need to compare themselves to others, especially physically (which the fatphobia conversation around Love is Blind is something to touch on a different day) since everyone is at that acceptable societal age of marrying. There is intense pick me energy in Love is Blind sometimes, but it makes sense because of the pressure these people put on themselves in fulfilling the missing parts of their lives with romance. So to enjoy the show and not be as judgmental, I’ll be turning my brain off while finishing out this season of Love is Blind. 

Writer and Lover of all Media
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